What are you doing?

[navinator]

Tonight, and tomorrow?
Most people go home, share some quality time with Friends and Family. Eat. Talk. See each other. ... or well, just get together.
Maybe I am painting too nice a picture for this. In my imagination that is this nice cozy warm yellow light in a nice dining room when people gather around to eat and talk and laugh. Then they open Christmas presents, and there were "oooh!" and "waahhh" and squeel and hugs and kisses.

I dunno.
What am I doing now.
I just got off work. Smiling to people and tell them Merry Christmas, tell them to enjoy it and eat lots, telling them what to get for their love ones. If they are buying for husbands or wives they have this sweet smiles thinking about the one they love.

Here I am. sitting alone in my very cold room. Wondering if I have enough to eat this coming month. Seeing all these people squealing about what people around them who love them enough to give them presents. And I am just here without even getting a phone call to acknowledge that I do in fact, exist. Where is my loved ones. Why are they not here?

My family havn't called at all. In fact the only people I have seen daily who has shown care is people at work which I have known only for 3 months.

I don't wanna be depressing and sulk and bitter and ruin everyone else's Christmas.
But I just can't stop crying. Tears keep rolling down my cheek.

Treasure the ones you love.
They won't always be there.

[Venus]

Im so sorry that you have to go through that. If there is anything I can do, just let me know! I would call you, but I dont have your number ^_^. Cheer up,...I have only had one phone call..and that was my ex. So im kinda in the same boat as you. I really wish that I could match everyone up with their family and friends have a great christmas, but im not a miracle worker. Just know you are always welcome here..and nothing can EVER change that...and one more thing... Merry Christmas!

[Blackmage]

Its depressing to hear about stuff like that but unfortunatly it does happen. I got a phone call at about 5 to 9 from my mom saying "where are you?" when I still wasn't even off work yet and the store closed at 7. d'oh

I'm sure you have more people that care about you than you know. Trust me on that, I know I do. Even though they don't say it or show it most of the time they are there, remeber you always have us PO'ers if you ever need anything.

[Tobias]

hey dood...youve always got a Tobs here on the boards. Come the christmas time, you should forget about those things, and just be happy. Just dawn the happy go lucky attitude and go out into the morning with a smile and a happy outlook on life.

Navinator...have a merry christmas, from deep down. People shouldnt spend christmas alone. It felt strange enough working, and then coming home and being home for a bit by myself on christmas eve...but keep the power of christmas behind you...and dont forget it

~That is all

[unastrike]

Bittersweet Christmas for me. Under normal circumstances, I should be very happy right now. After all, I have my son here whom I see maybe once or twice a year because he lives so far away. He's asleep down the hall... no doubt dreaming of the presents under the tree. Across the hall is my amazing daughter who's been saying "Ho ho ho" and "Merry Christmas" constantly this past week. She talks... a lot. Especially for a girl only 1 1/2 years old. I swear tonight she said, "Daddy? I piddy da foo."

"You sure do, bug... you sure do."

It's sad that I'm actually somewhat down. For whatever reason, it's hard to remain focused on the blessings in my life. Things have been in a whirlwind of emotion as of late and it's very hard to look past that... even if it's just for a few days.

Isn't it crazy how the Holidays can do this sort of thing to people? How they seem to highlight feelings of loneliness or depression. I mean, what's different in your life then it was in say... June?

Best piece of advice I can offer is the same that I need to follow myself. Count your blessings. I know from experience how hard it is to see them sometimes. But they're there. It's mostly a matter of perception. They may seem small, or trivial... or overshadowed by other things that are going on. Focus on the things you have... your health, a job, the support of this community, *shrugs* video games... rather then the things you don't. With any luck, you'll come to the conclusion that things really aren't so bad. Things have been or could be a lot worse.

Go buy yourself a nice Christmas present. You deserve it.

[navinator]

[Kiyomi]

Sorry to hear that you are alone. I'm not to partial to this time of year, myself. Excel has been making it a lot better since I first met him, but it still brings up a lot of painful memories. My mom announced she was getting a divorce from my father on Christmas morning a few years back. I've not received a call from my family today or yesterday, either. Excel's family called, but I did not even get a chance to talk to them. I still get that lonely, left out feeling during Christmas, even with Excel around. I'd love to get a call from my family wishing me a good Christmas, but I hear from my family very little any time of the year, let alone in the holidays. At least my mom and my grandparents sent me a card. My sister never even got back to me with her wishlist for Christmas.

I agree that the holidays are good at bringing about the lonely feelings if you are not surrounded by a loving family and warm happenings. They consider Christmas a source of stress, actually, even if it is a happy Christmas.

At least you have your PO family! We all love ya! *Big holiday huggles*

[whiteypoker]

Well, it sucks, but it is a fact of life that will make you stronger if you allow it. You waste alot of energy wallowing in self pity that could be used to finding alternitive means of happiness. Or if you feel too tired and beat down by life to seek happiness you could resort to study that found that there exists a set "happiness" point in everybody thats shaped by genetics and early childhood experiences that cannot be changed. So you could fall back on the idea that you have no control over how sad and alone you feel and bask in the glory of predestination and your life being not in your control. I prefer the first but to each her own.