Face Your Fears

[Shandriz]

The scent of leather and horses filled the air, relaxing her as she finished pulling Rune's tack out of the room designated for it. Of course, her nerves still jumbled, but not quite as much as they had before entering the stable.

This was familiar. This was happiness. Suki fluttered beside her mistress, calmly accepting of the new burst of activity the past week had seen. Shandriz herself was shaking like a leaf-- though not from the stress of planning the trip. The idea of confronting her past terrified her.

Why had he said all those things, told her everything, if it were not true? Why did he lie to her?

He had taught her so much. Had rescued her from death in the Darkness. Why had he then kept her from the rest of the world? Perhaps he had just believed...but she had seen no indicator at all of the things he'd told her. No-one in Miniopia seemed to know anything about her people, let alone hate them. Nobody had tried to kill her.

She took the bridle first, putting the bit in Rune's mouth and settling the strap over his ears,
"We're going to be roughing it for a while," she told him. The horse had become soft in the past few years, so accustomed to having hay and grain on a regular basis, eating whenever he felt like it. She hoped she'd packed enough food for him, but there was no telling how long they'd really be gone.

Rune offered no further indication that he'd heard (or cared) what she said than to flick his ears indifferently in her direction. Suki settled in a clean bit of hay next to the horse and began cleaning her ears with one paw.

Neither of them was much help. Her heart was pounding as though to leap from her chest, and neither animal offered any comfort. They could not say anything. They could not tell her that everything would be all right. That Matthias had not known about Miniopia, that perhaps he had met other people who did hate her own and that's why he'd thought everyone did.

At least Airius would be with her. She had not told him where she was going or why. She didn't think he would really want to know....well, really, she didn't want him to know. She didn't want anyone to know about Matthias. What if he had told her all that on purpose? What if he wasn't what she'd thought he was? She'd lived amongst her own people long enough that, now with her head clear of the fear that she might be left behind in the Darkness to die, she could see that perhaps Matthias had had an ulterior motive for rescuing her.

He must've been so angry when she decided to leave. But then, why hadn't he followed her, forced her to come back? Why had he just let her go? Why had she never seen him? She hadn't ever gone very far from the caves she had lived in with him. Just on the surface of them. He could have found her easily if he'd tried. But he never had.

And where was Airius anyhow? She wondered, settling Rune's saddle on his back. They were due to leave at dawn and she'd seen no sign of him, not even in the Temple where she'd been praying since dusk for a safe journey and the answer to all her fears.

[Reverend]

He had leave the temple to clear his head. It was stuffy in there, with the smell of burnt offerings, the chanting of other priests, the cramped space. He'd skipped out of afternoon meditation and combat practice with his fellow Arms of Mod, passed by the Kilted Wench, Sakura's Pokie shop, and plunged into the nearby wilderness.

Here he felt safe. Everything was simple, like when he was in combat at the Arena. His body was tingling with the urge to move, and perhaps he shouldn't have skipped out on combat practice. "Zivis is not going to be happy with me" Airius mused.

He idled his four star pendant around his neck, rubbing the red jewel in the center. "Surbifeh, Emissary of Chaos, come forth."

"Frustrated by something are we?" Before him stood a copy of himself, bedecked in obsidian black armor and wielding a vicious axe in his left hand. The facsimiles eyes glowed pale yellow, a twisted grin on his own face staring back.

"I'm not here to talk, I need to practice. You're a better fighter than Aftershock."

"You don't ask for us unless you're upset, you're an easy read Airius." Surbifeh circled around the priest of Mod, wagging his axe at him. "We aren't your confidants, we don't like you. We're stuck with you, we accept it because there's nothing to do. But I'm curious, what's got you so upset?

"Shut up and let me spar Surbifeh, I don't want to think about her-"

"AH! So this is about that tasty treat you're going on a lovers jaunt with."

"It's not that!"

"Please, you keep at her ankles like a puppy. Just enjoy it finally, stop listening to that stuck up fool and do what you heart really wants"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Airius suddenly swung his mace, passing through where Surbifeh had been and hitting nothing. The chaos emissary was gone, leaving Airius alone.

...

He returned to the temple hours later, sweaty dirty and in a sour mood. Most of the priests he came across caught on that now was not a time to approach him.

"Reverend Airius Origen, First Heart, Second Physical Arm, Third Sword Arm, Third Priest of Mod!"

Airius turned around to see High priest Zivis Shivtail staring down at him, a trademarked scowl of disapproval directed towards him.

"You missed combat training today."

"I was busy High Priest, my time was required elsewhere." Airius felt three years old again, caught for sneaking sweets out of the pantry, he couldn't look Priest Shivtail in the eye.

"Really...." Zivis was looking him up an down, and was sure he had seen through him to what he had been doing. "Priestess Vo'Dur is looking for you, she's in the stables."

Color drained from Airius's face, he looked up at High Priest Shivtail, who had the dragonkin equivalent of a smirk on his face. "Your penance will be meted out later. You are excused."

Airius bowed to the high priest, then ran to his dorm room to change, pack, and meet Shandriz at the stables.

[Shandriz]

The woman finished saddling Rune and made sure that everything was ready to go. Satisfied, she led the easy-going bay stallion out of the stall and waited for Airius.

Suki trotted over next to Shandriz, meowing a bit and rolling over on her back. The cat didn't often act this playful, but somehow it comforted the dark-elf that she was, and so she reached down to rub Suki's belly gently.

"Do you think he'll even recognize me?" she wondered, though she knew the answer already. Drow aged slowly in comparison with humans, and she was still quite young both in appearance and in her society. She hadn't really changed as far as physical qualities were concerned.

She did feel like a completely different person, though. And she wondered briefly if it showed outwardly. Certainly her clothing was different. She now dressed in the blue and white of mod, an outfit of her own design.

The traditional armor left her uncomfortable and unable to move as quickly as she wished, but priestess robes were too unprotected. Instead, she'd opted for a combination of the two-- a white painted breastplate to cover her chest and a pale blue skirt slit on either side for easy movement (and riding) on bottom. She'd even purchased a pair of bracers for her arms and a new belt and sheath for her scimitars in the colours of Mod.

This reminder of Miniopia's benevolent god and his support comforted her more than the familiarity of the stables had, and her heart now beat at a rather normal pace once more. Mod would protect her. She had been loyal to him, more worshipful of him than she had seen even most priestesses of the Dark Goddess in her home lands be to her. A god of healing rather than destruction. Of life rather than death.

And it didn't hurt to have Airius along. One of two humans she'd found she could really trust. She'd thought to perhaps ask the other along, but Master Zivis was really needed at the Temple more than with her, and he was often less comforting and more intimidating. He might well be the only person in Miniopia older than herself.

[Reverend]

He'd packed hurriedly, but he was used to that. A backpack containing his spare vestments, a small bedroll, a pack of scriptures, a lantern, polish and patch kit.

He stopped to grabbed some trail rations in the kitchen, then hurried to the stables.

His armor clinked as he ran, and he cut a wide swath through the halls of the temple. Sword Arms of Mod like himself didn't wear their armors in the temple often, but he was in a hurry. He hated being late, especially for Shandriz.

It took him a quarter of an hour to finally make it to the stables, panting as he made it in.

"I'm..." He had to stop to catch his breath. He wished he'd chosen not to wear his armor.

"I'm sorry. I lost track of time, and then I ran into High Priest Shivtail, and he told me you were waiting for me, and I had to pack, and then get some trail rations, and choose whether to bring my armor with me, and I wasn't sure what we'd be doing or where we were going, but I didn't want to frighten people but I felt naked without it, and...."

He ran out of breath and had to stop.

"And I am panicking aren't I?"

[Shandriz]

A small smirk lit the woman's lips. Airius's presence had restored a state of normalcy to her panic and she motioned to Rune,
"We are ready to go," she said,
"Hurry and get your horse ready. It is a long trip."

A very long trip, indeed. She was certain that she'd find Matthias somehow, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she had very few ideas where to look. She could try the caves in which they'd lived underground, but Matthias had already told her he would not return there.

Perhaps, however, she might find some clue as to where he had gone? She could look in the villages and towns on the outskirts of the Peaks of Fire, see if anyone knew of a man matching his description. She somehow doubted, however, that they would. Especially if Matthias did not want to be found.

[Reverend]

"Right. Horse. Actually I think I am going to walk this one."

Airius stretched, lifting his arms over his head, and trying to pop his back.

"Most horses can't stay fresh for long with me plus my armor weighing them down. I will be fine, and I could use the feel of road beneath me."

[Shandriz]

She shrugged,
"If you say so," she said.

An uncomfortable silence reigned for a few moments. She was reluctant to get started. Making those first steps would mean she'd have to continue with the rest, and go through with this insane mission anyhow.

Suki meowed, pawing at her mistress, and the woman took a deep breath,
"I suppose we ought to go, then."

She turned to Rune, briefly resting both a hand and her head on the horse's neck before swinging into her saddle-- she'd be faster on foot, but she preferred to have all the support she could. Besides, she'd probably be -too- much faster than Airius if she walked rather than rode.

"...thank you for coming along."

She barely had to move her legs to get Rune moving forward, and Suki flew up to settle on the horse's rear end. It was about as close as she could manage to express her gratitude to him for accompanying her. She would be perfectly safe on her own-- there were few dangers she could not overcome-- but she needed to remember why she was out here, and Airius was a good reminder.

[Reverend]

"Well, when you asked me, I was kinda surprised. I mean you don't tell me much, and I've still got a small scar on my chest from those priest skewers you keep with you."

He tried to joke because he was nervous. He didn't know really why he was along, and Surbifeh had said some things he didn't want think about. Do what your heart really wants.

"So...." He strayed closer to Shandriz and her horse, trying to get a better read on the elf's emotions. "Are we just going for a walk? We just traveling until we decide to stop?"

[Shandriz]

Rune seemed to thoroughly approve of Airius getting closer...if only because Airius's blonde hair strongly resembled hay, and the big bay stallion reached over in an attempt to munch the stuff.

Shandriz quickly pulled the horse up short,
"Stop that, Rune."

Her body was tense again, though. Airius' questions had seemed to have that effect on her. She didn't answer, trying to decide how much she ought to tell him. He deserved to know at least a little bit, but...she couldn't bring herself to tell him everything.

"We are...looking for someone. I used to know."

Why? Why did she have to find him anyhow? But she had to know. She had moved on now, and it was time to close that chapter of her life. The only way to do it would be to confront her past. She could stop being scared once that happened. When she knew he'd lied. Or he hadn't lied, but didn't know. When she knew it wasn't true.

[Reverend]

The horse saliva in his hair didn't bother him, Airius liked Shandriz's horse and pulled his backpack around to search for a treat.

"Someone you knew? Do they look like you? That'd make them easy to find, seeing as you're the first like you I've ever seen."

He knew it sounded stupid while it came out of his mouth, but perhaps he could crack a smile on her face. Airius hadn't seen Shandriz smile for some time now, she could really use a smile.