RedVsBlue Favorite quotes!

[MitchellTF]

Hm...I COULD pick some quotes, or I could do this...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401747/quotes



Next post, I'll link to a site that has the scripts!

[MitchellTF]

Church: So just remember, the Internet can be a very scary place if you're not prepared.
Grif: How do you recommend they prepare?
Church: I don't know. Try going to your local middle school chess club. Hand out crystal meth and drugs. That might be good practice.

[Shandriz]

[MitchellTF]

http://rvb.chrismarks.net/transcripts.php

Told you I knew a site that had them ALL..

[Shandriz]

Also--

Church: So how are you doing Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
Caboose: I think so. That guy Tex is really a robot... and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
Church: ...Yeah. That's right. I'm a gay robot.

[kei]

Tex: What took you guys so long to get here?

Simmons: There's six of us, and this is only a three seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap.

Donut: It was a great road trip. My favourite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally-

Grif: Hugh, please, let's not tell the story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?

Sarge: What you find, Tex?

Tex: Well, O'Malley's holed up in his fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days now, and he's got some help, one of those religious nuts you guys picked up.

Caboose: Oh, I like them. They were funny.

Tucker: Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a flag.

Caboose: I try not to remember the bad things about people.

Tucker: That's all they tried to do, there were no good things.

Caboose: That's okay. I have a really bad memory-wow look, a beach!

Sarge: Shut up Caboose. What's yer plan, Tex?

* As Tex explains her plan, we see a nice, majestic, panoramic view of O'Malley's base, like it's a movie or something *

Tex: Well first we have to breach the outer wall.

Caboose: Oh. I love breaching!

Tex: Then, we have to get past another wall.

Simmons: Two walls? Some people are so materialistic.

Tex: The second wall has a guard tower, and an enormous razor-sharp spinning blade.

Simmons: What that thing? It's spinning like two miles an hour.

Tex: I didn't say it'd be hard to get past. After that, we have to pass the gun turrets, and break in to the building.

Sarge: And then we attack O'Malley.

Tex: No. That's when we plant, this.

Caboose: ...We're planting a volleyball.

Tex: It's not a ball, it's a bomb.

Caboose: We're planting a volleybomb?

[Andsectoid]

This is my favorite ep:
http://rvb.chrismarks.net/psa.php?psa=nyc-2004
Internet vs real life.
Donut: So big boy, I'm from-
Simmons: You're not a girl.
Donut: What!? Course I am!
Simmons: A real girl?
Sarge(Shouting): Who's a girl! I like girls!
Simmons: Shut up you!
Donut: Yes, I am really a girl. Heeheehee.
Simmons: ...Send me naked pictures.
Donut: ...Okay.
Sarge(Shouting): I love Angelina Jolie! Does anyone else like Angelina Jolie!? She's got enormous lips!

* Black screen with words: Discussing Politics - Real Life *
* Church standing in front of Sarge *
Church: Look, that's just the way I feel about it.
Sarge: Well I disagree, but I respect your opinion.

* Black screen with words: Discussing Politics - Internet *
* A full fledged firefight *
Church: You deserve to DIE! Die, and go to hell and burn!
Sarge: Oh yeah!? Well I hope you get raped! Twice! Maybe then you'll feel different! Jerk!
Grif: We don't need to find any weapons of mass destruction! We just need to want to find 'em. That's the way it works!
Simmons: I voted for Nader! I hate everyone!
Doc: Would you like to change your homepage to moveon.org?
Donut: Politics makes me soooooo horny. Check out my webcam pic at presidentialsluts.com

[kei]

[kei]

Tex: I'm pinned down, I need assistance!

Tucker: (arriving next to the Red Zealot) Hey a'hole. (flips out some glowing blade thing)

Red Zealot: Heuh?!

* Tucker steps forward and slices the Red Zealot in the groin, sending him flying off the base to land on the ground below, on his face *

Red Zealot: My quest is over... I can see the flag... It's so, flappy... Hegh-bleahhhh

Tex: Hey, where'd you get that?

Tucker: I dunno, I found it in the hole. Pretty cool. Look what I can do. (swings it in the air)

Tex: Hey, you wanna trade it for the sniper rifle?

Tucker: No thanks, I'm good.

* Cut to Caboose wandering around aimlessly *

Caboose: X. I'm looking for an X. That, is a plus sign. Not an X. I need to find an X.

[kei]

Sarge- Ok dirt bags, if we're going to break in to this fortress were going to need a good game plan, now I got two options we can use! 1. We can run a line single file screaming at the top of our lungs, the enemy will be so flaberghausted, that we'll already be inside.
Tucker: That won't work, all they'll do is start blowing us away.
Sarge: That's the inherited beauty of the single file line, they can only kill the person infront, so eventauly we'll make it in, with me in the back, and tucker in front.
Simmons: Sarge, wouldn't it be better to have kaboose in the back?
Sarge: No kaboose is going to be infront of me.. somebody has to be in the back of the line to report our progress and keep an eye.
Tucker: How will you know if there's a problem.
Sarge: Well if kaboose dies, then i'll know we're in troulbe and emidiatly obort.
Griff: Sarge, that's the dumbest idea I ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me infront.
Sarge: Don't get misty Fancene, we would have already killed you and used your body to pludg up the windmill.
*griffs lifeless body on windmill spinning* eayeah~