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Enon Minion of words

Gender:  Joined: 04 Nov 2003 |
Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:11 am Post subject: |
General Mythral wrote: |
...I feel insignifigant now. |
bah. No belittle of self in this post. only aspirations. |
_________________ "If I twiddley fingers long enough do you think something will happen?"
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Wins 2 - Losses 7 Level 2 |
EXP: 1875 HP: 1850
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STR: 650 END: 600 ACC: 625 AGI: 725
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Keket / Zerah (Blades) (230 - 300) |
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Enon Minion of words

Gender:  Joined: 04 Nov 2003 |
Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:12 am Post subject: |
NEWSTUFF
Rylis watched as Kali shuffled over to one of the two black winged armchairs that faced Arion’s desk on each corner. Between the two chairs one could see the doorway and Arion. Kali picked the chair on her left so that she faced Rylis and could just see glimpses of her father over Rylis’s shoulder.
At seven Kali could pass for a five year old. Her wild mass of curly brownish black hair contrasted greatly against her au lait complexion. Rylis smiled, the little girl had her mother’s hair but her father’s complexion just a shade darker, she thought. And the child was a mixture of her parents’ attitudes.
Finally Kali looked up her big eyes were full of water and her lower lip trembled but she looked directly at her father. Rylis looked over her shoulder at Arion, the smile slowly faded. Arion wore a grief laced expression. Rylis knew who had caused it. She also knew who Arion was seeing when he saw his daughter. It hurt him to see Kali cry, it always brought to mind the image of Xylia the last time he had seen her. Rylis hoped Arion saw the regret in his daughter’s eyes and the situation as a whole. His daughter and her mother were different, just as he was. Rylis moved until she was blocking Arion’s view of Kali.
Rylis waited until Arion looked at her before she tilted her head towards Kali. There was an unspoken rule between the two of them where Kali was concerned. Rylis stood, picked up Kali and settled into the chair holding her. When Kali cried Arion lost focus, so Kali’s tears were Rylis responsibility. Rylis had cornered him after watching him watch Kali cry. Kali had been, maybe a little over a year old and fell bumping her head. The upset little girl had reached out to her father but he stood frozen watching. She had whimpered her distress but Arion remained silent and still. He had told Rylis how every time he saw Kali cry he saw her mother crying. He knew Xylia had followed him when he had taken Kali to the transport to the Upperelm. Xylia had cared for Kali until Kali was old enough to tolerate the transportation. Arion knew Xylia watched and cried and there was nothing he could do to comfort Xylia. So Rylis held Kali when she cried or need to be held.
Rylis held her a she curled up in her lap, it had been almost three months three months since she had seen Kali, but it felt the same, she’d missed the little girl. Kali continued to watch her father through a tear filled gaze. Arion bowed his head. Rylis and Kali both knew that Xylia’s loss haunted him. To Kali’s understanding she knew something upset him whenever she cried but what it was she had no clue. So she tried her best not to cry because when Momma Rylis wasn’t around Daddy was sad and he didn’t touch her when she cried and that was bad.
Rylis had offered comfort but never pushed it on him. He had enough of that when he first brought Kali to the Upperelm. If he wanted it he would come to her, but Rylis made sure Kali got it.
“I’m sorry Daddy, I’m sorry Daddy, I’m really sorry,” Kali blurted out breaking the oppressing silence that had descended on the room. “They were saying mean things that weren’t true.”
Arion’s head remain bowed. Rylis saw his body tense before he nodded acknowledging Kali’s words and apology.
With a sob Kali buried her face in Rylis’s chest, she knew they would understand some and accept her apology if the teachers didn’t. They listened to what she said and found out the truth before they gave out punishments.
Rylis held the little girl closer. Kali was such a sensitive child and had a heart for protectiveness that was too big for her. She protected those who needed it and the ones who hurt her. Kali was normally very forgiving even though she had an extremely quick temper. The temper never lasted long, almost like a sudden harsh breeze. With the resent incidents at school Kali had begun to loose her temper more and was prone to attacking those who caused it.
Even Kali herself was terrified by her resent actions and reactions to the taunts of her classmates and the adults petty enough to taunt a child. Rylis had come back from her tour in the Betweenrelm at Kali’s request. The letters she had received had voiced unspoken fears and worries that she was afraid to talk to her father about and her own lack of understanding. Arion’s letters had been no better than his daughter’s. Both needed to talk but neither knew how to approach the other. So Rylis saw it as her job as a friend and concerned individual to try to help as much as she could. She also had made a promise to Xylia which she intended to keep.
When Kali had calmed from her tears, she lifted her head and looked at Rylis. “They said…they said that the only reason Daddy kept me around was because I reminded him of my mother and you make him, because I was a mistake. They said I’m the reason, you nor Daddy are mated. Momma Rylis they said that the only reason you stay around is because you feel sorry for Daddy because he’s stuck with a monster of a half-breed.” Kali tighten her hold on Rylis. “They said Daddy paid you to spend time with me. They said I would be a harlot when I got older and I would be the death of you both and I would do it with my own hands.” Kali’s voice had risen with the horror of the images that ill intented words brought to her young mind. Rylis knew that they were vivid, she remember how they show the Betweenrelmers in all their true viciousness in gory details.
“Rylis sit down.”
The snap in Arion’s voice drew Rylis from her rising anger. She had realized that she had stood up. She looked at down at Kali in her arms. The child clung to her but watched with fearful eyes pleading that the words weren’t true. Rylis dropped back into the chair and held Kali tight raining kissed on the child’s face. “Sweetie I’m sorry, I wasn’t mad at you,” Rylis said gently resting her cheek on the crown of Kali’s head. Rylis felt Kali’s arms snake around her neck.
“I would never hurt you Momma Rylis. Never ever. I promise never ever. I love you,” Kali said holding on to for all she was worth.
“I love you too sweetie.” Rylis said hugging the child she thought of as her own. Mentally Rylis replayed Kali’s words over in her mind. Words for a description of those who would say such things in the presence of child, defied her.
The race she was a member of claimed to be above such things, yet they wallowed in it. The same voices that denounced those traits in other races were present in the Upperelm. What right did they have to declare themselves judge and jury? They were a mockery of that system. It wasn’t right.
Arion pushed away from his desk and moved around to kneel in next to the woman who loved his child almost or maybe more that he did. Rylis had always gone above and beyond the call of duty of friendship. He owed her and his daughter, this cruelty could not continue.
“Kali look at me,” Arion said running his fingers through his daughter’s hair. It was soft as silk, like her mother’s, he thought absently.
Kali looked at her father though wet lashes. When their eyes made contact Arion continued.
“Kali, Rylis is here because she loves us, because she loves you. You heard her say it. Don’t believe what those people say, they know nothing. I kept you because I love you and always will no matter what. You do remind me of your mother, because you’re a part of her, but I love you for being you as well. Now there was no need for you to answer those taunts.”
“Daddy they tell us not to say mean things, but they did. It was wrong and it hurts to listen. They know its wrong Daddy and they did it anyway. I just got upset. It’s not fair for them to do that.” Kali said trying to explain herself.
“Kali we’ve talked about this before, you have to ignore the things some people say, because you are better than that. Next time you tell one of the adult who you know will listen, don’t take matters into your own hands. That’s the reason I’m going to punish you. No sweets of any kind for three days.”
Kali nodded and held on to Rylis. Kali was the proud owner of severe sweet tooth; three days of no sugar would be punishment enough.
“Good girl,” Arion leaned forwarded to kiss Kali’s forehead. “Now close your eyes. Kali remember this if you remember nothing else; you are important and love. That should matter more than anything anyone else has to say. You’ve had a stressful day. I think a short nap is in order, don’t you?”
Arion smiled, it turned into grin when an answering small smile crossed Kali’s face.
“I thought so. When you wake up, I’ll fix you something tasty to eat. Then we will see what kind of work you have to do for school. Fluff up you pillow.”
Kali nodded and patted Rylis’s chest before resting her head there.
“Hey don’t I get some say in this?” Rylis asked as she shifted into a more comfortable position.
“Nope,” Arion said winking at his daughter who grinned. “Pillows can’t talk, can they Kali?”
Kali smiled and accepted her father unvoiced apology. The child giggled when she felt Rylis’s chest rise beneath her head as Rylis huffed in fake exasperation.
“Fine, see if I’ll ever bake you two sugar shortbread cookies again,” Rylis replied with false snotty indignation.
Arion looked at his daughter in mock horror. “No more sugar shorties? Noooo.” He moaned and fell over at Rylis’s feet.
Arion mock climbed up Rylis’s leg to rest a pleading face on her knee. “We’re sorry Ry, honest. You’re not just any pillow, you’re a sweetheart.” He said grinning at Rylis’s frown. “Okay how about this; you have better…um…padding that I do. Isn’t that right Kali?”
Kali nodded and snuggled closer to Rylis.
In a loud whisper Arion told Kali to close her eyes. “See Ry, she’s already asleep. You wouldn’t want wake her up would you?”
Rylis snorted and began humming a lullaby. Arion sat back and watched as Kali’s tense body relax as she fell into a natural sleep in Rylis’s arms. His eyes then drifted to Rylis’s face who sat humming with her eyes closed, her cheek resting on Kali’s head. He smiled. Arion rotated until he could rest his head against Rylis’s leg. His smiled stayed in place when he felt Rylis run her fingers through his hair; he closed his eyes in contentment.
“Arion you have to say something about this. You know those children are only repeating what they’ve heard their parents say. Those adults are just as bad by saying such things.” Rylis said quietly not to wake the sleeping child. She wanted to be angry but anger was waste of energy that could be used on something more productive.
“I will Rylis I promise. I’ve let too much go by without fighting but no more. I’ve been trying to be civilized about this but that’s not what they want; so I will deal with it Ry.”
“Alright I’ll contact Xylia tomorrow and keep Kali.”
“Thank you.” Arion said eyes still closed leaning against Rylis. He shifted his weight until he rest both on the chair and her leg. When Rylis realized what Arion was doing she settle herself more comfortably in the chair, it looked as if she wasn’t going to get to that paperwork at all at her desk today. Rylis continued to run her fingers of one had through Arion’s hair slowly massaging his scalp until she felt him relax. The other had rested on Kali’s back. When all movement settled Rylis had Kali resting against her left shoulder and Arion against her right leg. This would be a moment for my scrapbook, Rylis thought as her eyes drifted shut.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ |
_________________ "If I twiddley fingers long enough do you think something will happen?"
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Wins 2 - Losses 7 Level 2 |
EXP: 1875 HP: 1850
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STR: 650 END: 600 ACC: 625 AGI: 725
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Keket / Zerah (Blades) (230 - 300) |
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Therin Gloompf. Iggle!

Gender:  Joined: 24 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:29 am Post subject: |
Ok, no self-belittlement. Only aspirations. I wish I could write characters as vivid and defined as yours are. Anybody who's read my writing will notice this: All my characters are basically the same. I put myself into every one of them. Anybody who wants a character profile of me has but to look at my characters. While this is helpful to a psychiatrist, it doesn't make for a very good story if all your characters are the same. Therefore, I wish I could write disparate characters, the way you seem to be able to do with such ease. |
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http://kevan.org/johari?name=Therin |
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Wins 45 - Losses 36 Level 10 |
EXP: 6251 HP: 2600
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STR: 950 END: 825 ACC: 825 AGI: 800
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Gray Matter (Gun) (240 - 530) |
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Enon Minion of words

Gender:  Joined: 04 Nov 2003 |
Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:48 am Post subject: |
You can do it. Most of what makes some of my characters seem more i guess is cause i'm always asking myself question and trying tp figure out the hows and whys of a story. BUt to me I think this is okay and i think its missing something more than just editing. BUt like your writting style because its like different aspects of a persons thought process. ANd its all about percetopm. |
_________________ "If I twiddley fingers long enough do you think something will happen?"
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Wins 2 - Losses 7 Level 2 |
EXP: 1875 HP: 1850
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STR: 650 END: 600 ACC: 625 AGI: 725
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Keket / Zerah (Blades) (230 - 300) |
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Therin Gloompf. Iggle!

Gender:  Joined: 24 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2004 3:52 am Post subject: |
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Wins 45 - Losses 36 Level 10 |
EXP: 6251 HP: 2600
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STR: 950 END: 825 ACC: 825 AGI: 800
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Gray Matter (Gun) (240 - 530) |
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Enon Minion of words

Gender:  Joined: 04 Nov 2003 |
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 2:36 pm Post subject: |
But you dont have to change much to make a character different it can be a small detail in your mind that can make all the difference in the world. |
_________________ "If I twiddley fingers long enough do you think something will happen?"
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Wins 2 - Losses 7 Level 2 |
EXP: 1875 HP: 1850
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STR: 650 END: 600 ACC: 625 AGI: 725
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Keket / Zerah (Blades) (230 - 300) |
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Back to top |
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Therin Gloompf. Iggle!

Gender:  Joined: 24 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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Wins 45 - Losses 36 Level 10 |
EXP: 6251 HP: 2600
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STR: 950 END: 825 ACC: 825 AGI: 800
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Gray Matter (Gun) (240 - 530) |
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Enon Minion of words

Gender:  Joined: 04 Nov 2003 |
Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 3:00 pm Post subject: |
but nothing i've written except for hte plays have been short. |
_________________ "If I twiddley fingers long enough do you think something will happen?"
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Wins 2 - Losses 7 Level 2 |
EXP: 1875 HP: 1850
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STR: 650 END: 600 ACC: 625 AGI: 725
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Keket / Zerah (Blades) (230 - 300) |
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Therin Gloompf. Iggle!

Gender:  Joined: 24 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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Wins 45 - Losses 36 Level 10 |
EXP: 6251 HP: 2600
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STR: 950 END: 825 ACC: 825 AGI: 800
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Gray Matter (Gun) (240 - 530) |
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Enon Minion of words

Gender:  Joined: 04 Nov 2003 |
Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 3:28 pm Post subject: |
okay you help me write short pieces and i'll help you with character development.  |
_________________ "If I twiddley fingers long enough do you think something will happen?"
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Wins 2 - Losses 7 Level 2 |
EXP: 1875 HP: 1850
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STR: 650 END: 600 ACC: 625 AGI: 725
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Keket / Zerah (Blades) (230 - 300) |
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Back to top |
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