Advice for handling children.

Kiyomi · Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:14 pm Post subject:

Warning: Opinions ahead, not meaning to pick on anyone or offend, but things happen. Read at your own risk. Mr. Green

Honestly, I think that unless you have been a parent yourself, a person cannot really provide parental advice. I am also a daycare provider, and I have gone through a lot more official training than most parents ever will. However, I learned a lot more about how to take care of kids by taking care of my little sister than by taking all those classes. Not to mention that as a daycare provider, I only have the kids for a certain amount of time. They are not in the same situation as if I were their parent. They don't deal with family issues, fathers, other siblings, etc. while I am watching them. My job is to help them grow as a person, to take proper care of them while in my watch, and to provide them with love and enrichment in the form of learning. My job is NOT to be a substitute parent. Yes, I am mandated to report suspected abuse, but that is it.

Anyway, back to my original opinion. No amount of part time care will ever provide a person with the real life knowledge needed as a parent. Heck, no amount of true parenting will ever provide a person with everything needed to be the best parent. You do your best, use common sense, and learn as you go. Even if I am a daycare provider for several more years (until I actually have children of my own), I won't be the perfect mom. No one is. I will have problems with my kids, just like everyone else in the world will. For example, there are certain laws in daycare that do not apply to true parents. A parent can put their child into time out for longer than 1 minute per year of the child's life, but I cannot. That is also only to be used as a last resort for me, but when I am a parent, I am not going to be lax about punishing my child. Sure, I will try to get them to stop without punishment, but sometimes kids just need to loose something (loosing some playtime, not being able to go to a party, etc.) in order to learn that certain behaviours will not be tolerated. I look forward to being a mom, but I really don't think my being a daycare provider qualifies me to provide advice to parents, because I am not a parent.

Now, all that being said, this thread is not a bad idea, overall. Ideas can be tossed out and used or not used. They may or may not work, and it is up to the parent's judgement to decide whether or not that course of action will work with their child. It is a good idea generator, but I definitely believe that there is no universal rules when it comes to kids. Shan's first post was filled with excellent ideas. Most of them are good for generization, but may not apply to certain individuals. For example, most toddlers definitely do understand more than most people think, but some will have a lower level of understanding. I do definitely agree that it is good to let a kid throw a tantrum and not give into them and not to baby a child. If you do, they just learn that tantrums and crying will get them what they want and will keep doing it. Wink

RivaOni · Full English! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 24 Sep 2002

i definetly agree with you on the punishment front, what happens to an adult who gets caught "misbehaving" theyre punished by having their freedom for a period of time taken away, and a reason crime rate is going up and up these days is because there are less punishments for kids. a smack across the bottom or the back of the thighs never did my generation any harm why would it suddenly cause harm to kids these days? answer, it doesnt, their just being mollicoddled

underpants · awesome sauce! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 07 Jul 2004

I am what you could call the SUPER babysitter. I've been doing this for almost 10 years!! A very important lesson I try and try to remember is don't sweat the little stuff and while it's important to disapline your kids and all that good stuff, just remember if something doesn't go exactly the way it's suppose to go don't freak. It's no biggie. I know that may not seem like a big thing, but for a person with control issues (i'm just starting to admit that) it's not the easiest thing to remember.
GOOD LUCK Very Happy

Excel Zero · Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 7:59 pm Post subject:

Chixiethepixie · Power Pixie Age: 39 Gender: Joined: 10 Aug 2003

i find it hard to tell racheal off as when she looks at me and cries i feel so bad that i have to hug her so i think that if you tell the child off/punish them always let them know that you love them just as much but that this is for the best.sometimes the naughty step/time out corner works but for other things like stealing then it needs to be a little more serious than a telling off

RivaOni · Full English! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 24 Sep 2002

makes me laugh how they shunned the "naughty corner" and stuff for years, saying it was cruel and now theyve bought it back again Rolling Eyes

just goes to show these people know their stuff but they sure as hell don't have any common sense and probably don't work with children as much as theyd like you to think or even have their own!

MG · Senior Otaku Age: 58 Gender: Joined: 22 Oct 2002

There are no hard fast rules on parenting believe me i am one not only that im a grandparent too and thats a whole different kettel of fish Shocked

babies dont come with hand books .. you learn as they grow and it differs from each child too .. you cannot treat one child the same as another because they are different.. Just do your best .. love them nurture them and be as open with them as you possibly can with in reasons of course ..

Its a hard job but we manage.. well most of us do any way Very Happy

its a natural instict just focus on that and you cant really go far wrong .. if you do just learn by the mistakes that you make and try a different approach ..

Shino · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 2:46 pm Post subject:

Chixiethepixie · Power Pixie Age: 39 Gender: Joined: 10 Aug 2003

it is so different with someone elses kids-especially if u work at a playgroup or whatever i mean my mum sorta is a leader at one and there is this little so and so who goes around bitting other children and actually leaves teeth marks in their arms and faces.the child also throws objects like toys and cups-you name it and 'it' throws it but my mum isnt allowed to approach that parent to ask them to make their child stop attacking the others-she has to wait until that parent notices and stops their child-she cant approach them in case it offends them-the whole playgroup/babysitting/school thing is a very complex set of rules and advice-
Here in England at the moment there is a bloke in charge of the schools and he wants to ban cameras and photos from school events such as sports days and nativity plays-he wants to make every parent to sign a letter of permission and the school teachers will take photos of the children and when you buy them all the children apart from yours will have their faces blacked out-ive lost count of how many times a teacher has been arrested for indecent pictures-Are our children safe with anyone anymore?

Girkon · Chop Chop Fiend Gender: Joined: 29 Sep 2004

The honest answer is nobody can be certain what will happen. The thing you can do is just try to trust your instinct and be the best you can. Obviously some take it to heart more intensely than others, and some don't. Though in the end it's what you decide that counts with the kid you have. Don't let anyone bully or alter you otherwise.