Weighed down by a heavy heart

Kothar_Isk · Shadow Mage Gender: Joined: 22 Nov 2005

Doot when I asked B my heart was in it fully and my life looked as though I would never even be near A again let alone hang out with her. Also I know that that particular question should be asked without a doubt in your heart and there wasn't any then, which is the whole problem here the doubt as developed and I have to deal with it one way or another before B and I can really sit down and set a date.

Doot · Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:30 am Post subject:

I think as humans we have a tendancy to make things more complicated than they should be.

You asked B. Whether you took into account if A would be in the picture again, you made that choice. And by allowing doubt in it - especially after such a promise - you may want to let B find someone who won't have any shadow of a doubt with someone else as your hesitance now shows you aren't ready for such a step.

Daijaga · Chosen of Luck Gender: Joined: 17 Dec 2003

Doots brings up a good point. As a man, and a married one, you have to go all the way with it. Im a married man, I know. The hard part here is you have to break a heart. B's if you tell her your changing your mind, maybe A's (I dunno her feelings), or ultimatly your own by tearing yoruself apart with this back and forthing. Someone's gonna get hurt by all of this. ITs not fair, or right, but its the truth - your going to have to come to grips with that and accept the consequences.

Heres something else your not gonna wanna hear. Somewhere in all this your gonna have to suck it up, be a man, and do something you don't wanna do. But, Kothar, your gonna be a man, and your gonna do it anyway. Your gonna have to move away with one or the other, persue their interests. Your gonna have to give up on one of your loves, which doesnt mean that you'll stop loving them but it means you have to accept the fact that you cant do anything about it and buck up. And thats just the first steps - marriage is a dance just like this.

And theres also gonna come a point where you need to put yoru foot down. Kothar a relationship is two people, and YOUR one of those people. If you have something you want to do, stand up for your self and make it known. Someone that really loves you will respect your wishes and dreams and bend and flex to try to accomedate you as well.

Good luck with all of this, your gonna need it.