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graphic Weighed down by a heavy heart graphic
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Kothar_Isk
Shadow Mage



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:42 am    Post subject: Weighed down by a heavy heart

I have a very difficult relationship question for you and/or anybody that has an opinion on it.
here is the situation......
I 16 1/2 monthes ago girl "A" and I broke up due to several things..distance+ lack of comunication. Now this was after two very wonderfull years. She was the first person that I ever really fell deeply in love with and she always come back to my thoughts every now and then. Those thoughts are always filled with what ifs. And I still have a lot of feelings for her.
In the time between then and now I have been seeing girl "B" and have been with her for about 14 months now. I love her very much and she knows this and she is even a little obsessed with me but not in a bad way.
My problem is that they know each other and are sorta friends. Plus now that I have moved back to my parents house I am living again where I was when I was seeing Girl A. now I am friends with both of A's sibllings and have been over there to their house twice in the past week. In my two vists I have discoved that A never really got over us being together and still has very strong feelings for me. Now both of the girls know everything that is going on and who has which cards. My problem is that I am now torn between the two greatest loves of my life. At this point I could be with either one of them if I wanted and they see that, but I am torn in two. I have tried every method to try to compare them to see if I could chose one over the other and I can't. But I want to.
I have that grand second chance with A and its just sitting there but I still love B too. I am completely lost at this point and I am falling apart on the inside over this.

I hope you all have some advice.

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Cheshire
Hippy Kitty



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 31 Jan 2005
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:10 am    Post subject:

It seems to me that if you were to just leave B to go back to A, B is kinda just a place holder and doesn't mean as much. But the real question is are you interested in spending the rest of your life with any of them?

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Kothar_Isk
Shadow Mage



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 11:28 am    Post subject:

I could see myself spending the rest of my life with either of them. I love both of them very much and B in no way is a place holder for A. Its just that I have sitting in front of me a second chance to see what might have been, but I know that if I take it I could screw the whole thing up.
I am very confused right now and cannot truely follow my heart because it is pointing me in two directions.

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Rizzen
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Joined: 14 Dec 2005
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 11:50 am    Post subject:

Sounds to me like you are too outwardly focused right now. I am willing to bet that right now the two of them are a jumble in your mind and you may be getting confused since they both have great qualities and probably even share some of the same. What I am suggesting is taking some time away. No you don't have to seperate from girl B in any way. Perhaps just take some alone time for a few days. Whatever happens, do you best not to think of either of them. Now I am not dumb, I know how hard this can be as I was in this situation once. There is no miracle cure I can tell you, except to sugges what I already have. Find something out there that you like to do that has little or nothing to do with either of them and go do that. Believe it or not it can work.

If all else fails feel free to IM at me at any time.

AIM - Po Excel

Talk to you later and good luck

-Rizzen

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Andsectoid
Router Monkey of DOOM!!!



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Joined: 18 Sep 2003
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 12:23 pm    Post subject:

imo Stay with B.
You keep thinking what if. Well, what if you get back with A do you think you will stop thinking of B? Then you will only be thinking about the what if's with person B. Plus it does not sound like either of they are in a hurry to go anywhere. If you set A aside they might feel like they were a placeholder and harm your relationship.

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Rizzen
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 1:22 pm    Post subject:

He does have a point there. A might have alot of what if's involved.

-Rizzen

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Doot
Cute and Non-Abrasive Hyper Hypo



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 15 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:34 pm    Post subject:

Andsectoid wrote:
imo Stay with B.
You keep thinking what if. Well, what if you get back with A do you think you will stop thinking of B? Then you will only be thinking about the what if's with person B. Plus it does not sound like either of they are in a hurry to go anywhere. If you set A aside they might feel like they were a placeholder and harm your relationship.


Took the words out of my mouth.

There will always be "what ifs" but it's good to focus on the "what is".

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Kothar_Isk
Shadow Mage



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 22 Nov 2005
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:13 pm    Post subject:

Quote:

Sounds to me like you are too outwardly focused right now. I am willing to bet that right now the two of them are a jumble in your mind and you may be getting confused since they both have great qualities and probably even share some of the same. What I am suggesting is taking some time away. No you don't have to seperate from girl B in any way. Perhaps just take some alone time for a few days. Whatever happens, do you best not to think of either of them. Now I am not dumb, I know how hard this can be as I was in this situation once. There is no miracle cure I can tell you, except to sugges what I already have. Find something out there that you like to do that has little or nothing to do with either of them and go do that. Believe it or not it can work.

I think you are right and I will take off a little time for just me and try not to think about them....wow its been years since I just focused on me. But what happens when those several days are over and I am still right where I am now?
Quote:

There will always be "what ifs" but it's good to focus on the "what is".

Very true Doot but then again...
I'd rather regret doing something than regret not doing something.

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Doot
Cute and Non-Abrasive Hyper Hypo



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Joined: 15 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:45 pm    Post subject:

[quote="Kothar_Isk"]
Quote:
I'd rather regret doing something than regret not doing something.


See, but you've already been down that road.

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Andsectoid
Router Monkey of DOOM!!!



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 18 Sep 2003
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:26 pm    Post subject:

Doot wrote:
Kothar_Isk wrote:
I'd rather regret doing something than regret not doing something.


See, but you've already been down that road.

lol. I second that. It seems like you are regret breaking up with A… When dealing with matters of the heart it is not as easy at the statement suggests.

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