How much are you willing to take?

Graillik Tur · Renaissancetaku Gender: Joined: 09 Jul 2004

I found myself in a relationship here on base. Needless to say it's not working out very well. There are some major problems on both ends and I find myself trying to do what I think is right and what I want but I'm not sure it's gonna work.

When do you draw the line and say no more and move on? And if you do, how do you do it?

Doot · Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:30 pm Post subject:

Well, you ask yourself is it worth it?

Is the time and effort and the pain and suffering attached to the relationship outweighing all the good? Is it harder to find a reason to stay than a reason to leave? Is the person someone you would REALLY want to be with no matter what and worth working everything out?

Relationships are no cake walk that's for sure but they shouldn't be SO MUCH WORK straight out the gate. I don't know the specifics of how long you've been with this person but if it's less than a year and most of that time has been spent in turmoil then it's time to move on.

It's not ever going to be simple to break things off, but if you do, make sure it's a relaxed time where no conflict is involved and just be honest that you feel the effort put in outweighs any of the benefit.

Relationships are all about reciprocation and if the good you put in is not returning itself so much then it's time to make some changes.

Shino · Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 3:22 pm Post subject:

Dooters put it very well.

Another thing to think about is do you have the 3 big necessities?

Honesty
Trust
Communication

If you are missing any of those, it's going to be harder to make the relationship work.

Blackmage · Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 4:49 pm Post subject:

Eh, just weigh the pro's and con's if the con's are more than the pro's then screw it.

kurjohoto the III · Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:18 am Post subject:

The Kurry springs forth from the shadows with this to say.

"Heh with my past relationships I am probelley the last person on the world that should be giving advice of this nature but here it goes. I was in a bad relationship for six monthes and the sad thing is I knew it was bad. I guess I just didn't want to hurt her and I always have a real fear of being alone but one day I woke up a reliezed two things one I was not happy and two I hated seeing her. I mean it was to the point that I was advioding her everywhere I went. It was better to break up and try to salvage a friendship then to try and salvage a doomed love relationship but of course plan A didn't work out either but hey that is for another post. The number thing to ask is are you happy? If not then you need to really think about this relationship.

Shinigami Banchou · Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:27 am Post subject:

hmmm well i guess everybody already said everything better than i could.. but hey.. atleast if it comes down to it.. Dai, Faye and I can always kidnap her for you.. problem solved right there Very Happy

..for what its worth.. good luck Mr. Green