Guy's rules

Faye · Luna Sierra Age: 42 Gender: Joined: 28 Apr 2004

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules"from the female point of view...
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. What you think is not really important; don’t use that phrase when we are talking.

1. If you think you are punishing us by not having sex your not, it’s much faster without you and all about us.

Ming · DOOM! Gender: Joined: 13 Jan 2003

Sebastian · Junior Otaku Gender: Joined: 27 Sep 2006

Nice post Faye. I love how we can borrow cool stuff Smile

Reverend · I kin Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Oct 2002

Faye · Luna Sierra Age: 42 Gender: Joined: 28 Apr 2004

RivaOni · Full English! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 24 Sep 2002

Kudasai Hiroki · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:55 am Post subject:

Good list Faye. All in all I'd say you've covered all the bases, except...

1. If it's been in the basement/garage for more than a year, you don't need it anymore.

Shurikane · Dim Panties As String Joined: 24 Sep 2002

Shino · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:43 am Post subject: Re: Guy's rules

Doot · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:03 am Post subject:

Yeah I have to agree with closing it altogether. who really want to look into the gaping hole of the toilet. That way BOTH have to put forth effort. Wink