Stella Awards

BK · undefined Gender: Joined: 20 Oct 2006

These are awards given for acts of stupidity. Read and enjoy, yo.

5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie): 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. 00 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses

1st Place: This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from a.n OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. In addition, a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals based on this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Blackmage · Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject:

America's stupidity amazes and saddens me, where did we go so wrong?

RivaOni · Full English! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 24 Sep 2002

RULE BRITANIA, BRITANIA RULE THE WAVES..........

This kind of thing makes me glad to be British.

But then my mate did legally change his name for a year as a dare to, Jellyfish McSavaloy.

BK · undefined Gender: Joined: 20 Oct 2006

I'm pretty sure that stupidity is universal. I've heard of a town in Australia that was famous for having the lowest collective IQ after all... and they were proud of it.

Ming · DOOM! Gender: Joined: 13 Jan 2003

My question is who is stupider....the people in the situations, or the idiot juries who rule in their favor when all the injuries are CLEARLY their own fault?

Honestly, I'm going to go to some store and do something stupid to injure myself, and take advantage of the stupidity of the American legal system.

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

Hahaha these are just terrible.

Personally, though, I think that the one about the guy who was trying to rob the house getting caught in the garage was the worst (or maybe 2nd worst..since the RV thing was pretty bad)

Riva, did your friend really change his name to Jellyfish McSavaloy?!?!?

Hilarious!

Silver Adept · Otaku Lord Age: 42 Gender: Joined: 20 May 2003

This is the difficulty of the American legal system - those caught wrongdoing can sue the people they were doing wrong to.

Blackmage · Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 11:24 pm Post subject:

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

RivaOni · Full English! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 24 Sep 2002

BK, I know they can, hence my final comment about my friend. Suna, he did indeed.

There you go!

I do love his altered signature though.