City of Heros Background Story

[Ultrawolf]

Well i wasn't sure whether to put this in the game forum but i thought it might be more appropriate here. I got bored this morning so i typed up a background story for my character. It's pretty bad but hey I liked it.

Born and raised in Paragon City, an elderly gentleman would rise and become a hero to the people. Unknown to him, deep within his genetics laid the power he would one day use to combat evil wherever and whenever it emerged. The day that would change his life forever started like every other day in his life. He was feeding the ducks as he often did to pass the time. He was reflecting on his life when he heard a scream and a cry for help. He stood up and ran to where the sound was coming from. A young girl was being kidnapped. He tried to save her by attacking the man with his cane but the man was obviously stronger. He was thrown to the ground and stabbed by the kidnapper and watched as the kidnapper escaped with child in tow. As the elderly gentleman struggled to breath he saw a miracle. His blood began to flow back into his body and the wound healed itself instantly. A surge of power coursed through his body and he felt energized. He jumped to his feet and swore to use his new found strength to save that girl.

As a few days passed he learned that his power was a genetic talent that had laid dorment within his body and the trauma at the park had triggered the ability. He went underground and obtained a targeting eyepiece and a costume to disguise his identity. It was at this moment Father Liberty was born.

Father Liberty fought criminals and thugs in the streets looking for leads or contact that could lead him to his mission's end. Several weeks later he found the lead he had desired and Father Liberty hurried to the second event that would change his life. His lead led him to an abandoned warehouse in the business district of King's Row.

Father Liberty dispatched several thugs and entry level goons and used their ID cards to make his way to the back of the warehouse. He saw the little girl in a metal cage crying. She saw him and was in awe at this strange man who had come to save her. Father Liberty tore open the cage and freed the little girl. At this moment however the kidnapper had snuck behind Father Liberty and shot him with a handgun. Father Liberty fell to his knees and slowly fell to the ground. The girl had a frightened look on her face as the kidnapped pointed the gun at her and said, "You're more trouble than you're worth". A change of mind came over the kidnapped and he looked at the fallen hero. "But first I want to see who this Hero REALLY is..." The kidnapper unmasked Father Liberty to see the elderly gentleman he had stabbed in the park. A look of surprise came over the kidnapper as Father Liberty rose to his feet.

"Why won't you die!" The kidnapper shot Father Liberty again and again. This time however the bullets did not harm him. Father Liberty stared back at the kidnapper. He saw this weak man who kidnapped children and his rage grew and sharp claws emerged from his hands. His second genetic power had been revealed. He killed the kidnapper by plunging his claws deep in the villain's heart. The villain looked back at him and said with his dying breath, "I...killed...you....you are....supposed to be....dea..."

Father Liberty's body slowly starting looking younger and stopped at around the age of twenty seven. Father liberty responded, "Yes you killed me...twice. You killed me when I was a man. You made me a hero. I died and came back to life, only to die again. I am no longer Father Liberty....".
"No. I am no longer Father Liberty. I am now Captain Liberty ."

[Tobias]

dude, thats pretty cool man!

*applauds!*

That is all

[Therin]

Erm...

>_>

<_<

Captain America meets Wolverine...

<_<

Personal Opinion: First, give more detail to the abilities of your character. Second, give him some backstory. If you were to look at any given person off the street today, they wouldn't bat an eyelash when someone screamed. Especially in the city. Therefore, you have to ask the question, "What makes this guy want to help so badly?" Did he fail to help someone else in the past? Was he neglected as a child and resolved never to let that happen to anyone ever again? What makes him want to help?

Anyway, my 2 cents.

Otherwise, quite good.

[Nogrick]

Captain Liberty kinda sounds like The Minute Man from Freedom Force, but without the Energy X and stuff. Good background.

[Ultrawolf]

[Therin]

...Right...Ok, I'm an ass.


However, I still think you should have at least made small mention of what motivates him to help.