And the flaming dwarf pops his top.

[Graillik Tur]

First and for most for what is about to transpire here I apologize to everyone.

Second I apologize to Dai and Faye for snapping at an integral moment yet I feel it may be for the better if we can reschedual for a for sure date in the near future as Jace said.

Now that the formalities are over....

I wanna kill everything that moves quick out of the corner of my eye. Faye thinks I'm in a rut. Rut aint what I'm in. Destitution is what I'm in and getting a large dose of reality along with it. I've worn out all compassion from my parents. I beginning to feel lucky they let me eat here. Couple this with an inability to sleep when I'm tired. No, literally I can't get my inner monologue to shut up for the 5 minutes it takes to get to sleep so I end up waking up wound tighter than a pew boys ass after mass. I got limited time to get in shape for boot cause I don't want to be the dip shit getting beat cause he can't run the friggin 3 miles. My starting date for work keeps getting pushed back farther and farther. My registration and insurance is due this month...and I haven't had more than a cigarette a week for 3 weeks...wait, that's a good thing. Top it off with the latest female givin me hell and keeping me tweeked because she's overloaded herself with shit to do...I'm just not very stable.

I've been sitting on the fence between complete apathy and breaking my hands on the door for about 2 weeks now. So this is the official apology for spazing. And...don't expect it to get better for atleast another month till I get my bills payed off and back on my feet. Sadly by that time I should be getting dangerously close to shipping to boot, god willing. So...there I said it...piss off, leave me alone, I don't want a hug. I want a 9mm and the firing range. That or some Nyquil everynight to kill this insomina. Either way...peace.

[Reverend]

Well, what it seems like you need Grail, if I was to offer a suggestion, is to unplug. That is a lot of crap to be having to deal with there, and I mean a lot. When was the last time you just got up, went somewhere quiet, and just did not think about ANY of that shit? Fuck the past, don't think about the future, just sit with the moment, and concentrate only on breathing. IF you'd like, you can do this while running, just put on shoes, walk out the door, and let your feet carry you where they may.

There is never a need to apologize for feeling wound tight. It's just what you decide to do about it.

[Graillik Tur]

I'm just gonna put this here since it's already started. Due to a pornography incident my internet access has now been cut to a bare minimum. This means that my posts here will be frewer and farther inbetween until I can find a sutable way to get on the net. Again gomen and I'll catch up to you guys later.

[Faye]

We will reschedule, I am sure of it. Especially since Dai already has all the stuff done. But that is not what is important. Mack.... I know you have a lot of shit going on in your life now. I know you are stressed, but if you dont take Rev's advice you are going to die of a heart attack before you get to book camp. You just need to take a night off and unwind..... hang with friends, go to a movie, take a run, meditate, anything to get you mind of that shit. I have been in similar positions, you know. I have been in a similar state and if it weren't for my friends, namely you Jace Chris and Alex I would probably not be here now to type this. Its times like this when you friends come into play the most. If you need help or anything you know I am only a phone call away.... or I can come to you. I hate seeing someone I love in pain of any kind and thats why I talked to you last night like I did.... I wanted to find out what was wrong and help if at all possible. But I can tell you one thing.... if you want to go shoot I have a 12 gauge, a .38 special, and enough bottles and cans in the back of my truck that we can waste all day shooting if you want. I'll just have to go pick up a few extra boxes of ammo.

Gimme a call man, and I will work with Jace on the reschedule and try to get a solid time for us this time.

Take it easy

[Sperrit]

My advice to you:
Listen to my buddy Pot. He knows what he's talking about. I get that you're stressed the hell out about shit in your life but if there's nothing you can do about it then stressing ain't gonna help. Get out, go for a run, sit in a park, walk, just don't think about it for starters. Unless you think that you can reason a way out of your situation thinking about it and stressing will not help.
Also, if you go the way of beating something to kingdom come don't use your fists or feet. They're valuable. Bats, however, can be replaced. Just don't beat anything with a pulse. You don't want to have to explain that shit to a cop.

Join the Fun

[Graillik Tur]

Thanks guys. I did take your advice and unwound for a day. Then I went to work today for the first time in 2 weeks and it feels good. I'm back on track, I get to call my recruiter tomorrow and see if I got my job. Things are getting better, it just took some time. But thanks for sticking by me Matt. I'll catch you guys later.

I must sleep, it's been a long, long, hectic day.

[Reverend]

Glad to hear it. We forget to unplug and end up harming ourselves greatly. Always try to find that one thing that you can do that lets you just be you.

Good luck!