Depressed, Angry, Frustrated, etc...

[Ming]

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been really depressed, and it's been getting to me. As most of you can probably tell, its not my normal kind of mood to be in.

It's just that I feel like nothing is going my way, and I feel like I'm set up to fail later on in life, and that scares me so much. I'm going to school for all this business nonsense, and I don't even know if that's what I want to end up doing. I feel like if I don't get an internship, I'm going to have no chance in hell to get a good job out of school. I've been trying all summer to get one, but with no success. I interviewed for 2 that would have been fantastic, but unfortunately I was turned down for both of them, in lieu of someone with "more experience" which makes no sense because you're supposed to get the experience from the damn internship! It really makes me sad because I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I'm not a bad person, and I thought the interviews went really well because I can be pretty charismatic when it comes to that sort of thing, and I'm not dumb...I mean, I'm a pretty good student, so I don't know why people seem to keep passing me over. I did sort of find an internship with a local radio station, but I don't think it was worth it to me. It wasn't going to help with my marketing stuff, since I would basically be a gopher, delivering doughnuts to local businesses that suport the station. That and it wasn't paying anything, wasn't going to get me any credit in school, and combined with my paying job, wasn't going to leave me with any free time. My summer has sucked so far already, and I don't want to ruin the rest of it, now that I'm starting to remotely enjoy it.

Looking for jobs went the same way. Only recently was I able to find a job. Every other place just took my application and said they would call, which no one ever did, and that makes me really sad, because I don't know why people don't want me, and I just feel like something is wrong with me.

Aside from that, I feel so lonely sometimes...actually, all the time lately. I spend my entire days alone because my parents both work, Tobs is away oversees, UP is in California, and it doesn't seem like my friends ever want to do anything with me, even just hang out. I feel unwanted and unloved.

It just makes me upset to the point where I haven't been sleeping, and right now my stomach hurts. Sometimes I just want to give up on everything. I just want to say "f*ck you world!" and go live in solitude somewhere, because I feel like that's where I'm going to end up anyway.

Sorry to be writing all of this, but I just need to vent to someone, and I feel comfortable with you guys.

Thanks for listening.

~Ming

[Shino]

Dood, I know what you are feeling bro.

Getting a job now a days is tough. Your best bet is probably going to be the job fairs at your school.

Also, when you apply for a job, you can't expect them to call you back. You need to call them and ask what the status of your application is. Be aggressive.

As far as people being away and you being lonely... well I think we all know how that is once in a while. Drop someone a line. I'm sure anyone would be happy to chat, or just let you vent or whatever.

One thing you can never do is give up. I went through the same thing in college. I spent 5 years going to school pretty much full time and working 50 hours a week to stay a float. I had no time for anything. And I was pretty much single through most of college. So let the fact that you have someone as wonderful as UP to be with and talk to be your strength.

Life is hard. Anyone who tells you different is benefitting to much from someone else working harder than they should, or is not going anywhere.

Stick with it bro... you will be fine!

[Therin]

If it wasn't for geography being an a*****e, I'd love to come and hang out with you. Stupid geography, getting in everyone's way. DIE, MEASUREMENT, DIE!!

[Reverend]

I'm sorry that you've been feeling this way bud. I really am. I know I haven't been there to do enough with you, and that you feel kinda alone right now. Just remember though that with such the great person you are, you never will be alone, ever.

I'll be back on Monday, and on Tuesday we shall get drunk and watch movies, and it will be good. That is a promise

[Shino]

[itti]

wow ming, i feel all priviledged now... *yay* there's warm tea and little cookies, if ya want some.

i've been to that place before, and i can't find a job to save my ass... so, definately a lot of things are not going to happen for me until my seasonal job starts up... and my long-term goals are just falling apart with this lack-of-job-itis u and me seem to share.

if u do go into hermit-dom, bring a laptop with wireless 'net!! then u can be a hermit and a PO... *yay*