Prose-writing - My inner voices and I.

[Silver Adept]

You really shouldn't get so down on yourself.
"Yeah. I know. But it's those kinds of times where I wonder whether it's all just a grand illusion."
Like what? Are you afraid that you won't be able to handle it?
"No, it's not that. It's just that when I fail like that, I wonder whether that's the truth - that I'm really not good at anything, and the only time I've been able to accomplish something is through luck, and not skill."
You kid, right? If you were just flying by on luck, you wouldn't even be here.
"Well, I don't know. I just think at times that I'm not really good at anything. Since there's always someone nearby who's better."
Ah, so you would rather be undisputed champion at everything, and not ever have to worry about someone being able to beat you?
"That's an exaggeration."
Not much of one.
"Still, would be nice, even if it were only one thing, that I could say was my triumph, and that nobody else around could even hope to touch."
I know you better than that. You wouldn't be satisfied with just one. You'd want it all. You concentrate too much on your failings and not your successes.
There are plenty that would rather have your brain capacity. Many would like your cheery personality.
"But I'm not even sure if that's really what I am. I mean, one of you could be the real me, and a complete jerk."
And you're willing to forget the rest so long as there's a doubt of that? Focus on your merits for once.
"What merits?"
If I were solid, I would beat you senseless for that remark. To think you have no merits is folly.
You just have the problem of seeing your faults as well. You always want to improve yourself. Wonderful. Occasionally, though, you need to appreciate what you do have already.
"And invite something like what happened at band? No thanks."
Occasionally we get a little careless. That's all. If you could just get your mind to settle down long enough to be truly appreciative, I think your self-esteem would skyrocket.
Best to believe when friends give you compliments. You like to say 'But what about this part?' For once, take the compliment and avoid the rest.
"You guys make it sound like it's easy."
It is. You're making it harder. Perfection is a goal to strive for, but be satisfied with the progress you make.
"Progress isn't the goal, though. If there's still more ground to cover, I should be focusing on that."
Think about it. It take two flights to win the X-Prize. But the ship wouldn't even be up there if people weren't satisfied with it. It may not be perfect, but it will do.
"So what do you suggest?"
Keep at it. But take time to reflect on your handiwork's strengths, instead of worrying that it's not perfect. You still have to turn in the paper, even if it isn't the perfect thing. You usually get good grades on it anyway. Work with that and see what happens.
"Five tons of flax, right?"
Precisely. A flywhisk every now and then does wonders.
"Talk to you guys later."
We'll be here.