Tough Choice..

Shammy · New Age King Age: 37 Gender: Joined: 29 Sep 2004

=/ Recently I cut myself off from most of my old friends, deciding they were not a positive influence in my life. Since then I have had some trouble trying to find a new group to start hanging around. I was spending most of my time with my best friend of 10 years, but not a week after I stopped hanging out with my old friends, he began hanging out with them even more than I used to. They aren't drinking or doing drugs.. they simply dont do anything. Anyways, I dont want to throw away a 10 year friendship that has spanned both of us moving half way across the country and ended up with us a block away from eachother. But he is constantly with these people I really dont enjoy being around anymore, and dont feel like I should be near. Since he is spending all his free time with these people, what should I do as far as our relationship goes? =/ It's a pretty tough problem..

Tobias · *explodes* Age: 38 Gender: Joined: 17 Jan 2003

hey man, nothing ever said that being friends with him ever meant that you NEED to hang out with the same people. you guys can still be good friends. I know that my best friend has nothing in common with some of my friends, but we are still best friends, because me and him are tight like that!

As far as finding new friends...just relax, be yourself, and people should truely pick you out. Nuff said.

It's your talents that people like, not you acting out other talents.

Shandriz · Your Death Shall be Swift Gender: Joined: 28 Sep 2003

You don't need them! You have us! ^____^

..I'm just kidding. Really. Well, sort of. You -do- have us. All us GA Po's are awesome about getting together with each other when we wanna. I know I'm gonna be seeing Shino-sama at -least- once a month, probably more, for example. And 'Sashi and Gaaz and prolly a buncha others, too.

But, as far as your friend..well, just tell him how you feel. You don't want to hang out with those guys, so maybe just hang out with your friend when he's not with them, and tell him what's up. Maybe he'll hang out with them a little less so he can hang out with you more, if that makes sense.

Silver Adept · Otaku Lord Age: 42 Gender: Joined: 20 May 2003

Shandriz has the right of it. You can try to steer him away frmo seriously dangerous decisions if things go that far, but otherwise, you can just hang out with him when he's not around the slack crowd. As good friends, you'll figure something out.

Shino · Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:37 pm Post subject:

I agree with Silver and Shanny, but there is an addition...

if you are going to explain how you feel about them, make usre it's just that, you are explaining how you feel... let him/her make his/her own decision on whether or not to hang out with them

trying to force something like this could damage your friendship.

underpants · awesome sauce! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 07 Jul 2004

I have a best friend since 3rd grade and I know how you feel. We use to hang out all the time, but then when we went to college we ended up in different states and all that, but now that he's back we don't hang out with the same people, but still get a chance to see each other. We just hang out together, and we love it because we have all these inside jokes and have been through sooo much together it's better when we hang out by ourselves. We manage!!! Mr. Green

Excel Zero · Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 10:19 am Post subject:

I'd say give it some time...don't beat around the bush though...try talking to him as Shino said but always prepare for the consequences

Doot · Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 11:08 am Post subject:

I've gone through the same thing Shammy. It's very difficult because in all honesty you feel like you are alone. Understand that even though you are growing and they decide to stay stagnant that you will grow into other friends, those who will share the same views, those who share ambitions, etc. Your friend will also realize that, but he will have to realize that on his own time. We all grow at different rates and sometimes it means taking a break. Eventually some of those folks will catch up. I had to wait for a few of my friends to take a less desirable (to me) path but the ones I invested my pride and love in were the ones who came out on top.

Keiji · The Official Candy Kitty Gender: Joined: 04 Oct 2004

I've got two friends in the real world that I hand out with...I could if I wanted to, hang out with their friends. However, I do not feel comfortable around them, even if I feel they're a bad influence on my friend, I try not to let that get to me. You can still hang out with him, but you should let him know that you're not comfortable around his friends.
Hope that helps ^^;

Katana · Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2004 8:35 pm Post subject:

Finding new friends is hard, I should know. I've moved plenty of times (17 if you really need to know) and that includes a ton of schools. Trust your instincts and be who you are. I always say, you attract people that are as happy as you are. Don't be afraid to spark conversation on the spur of the moment. I've made good friends that way. Either way, things always have a way of working out, and you'll always find a group you fit with (aka my hodge-podge of childhood friends, new AWA followers, class friends, ATL friends.) For me, it's people I feel comfortable being myself around. When I feel like I have to impress someone, I'll be very tight and smart-ass, but when I really like someone, and they're easy going, I'll be very silly and carefree. And trust me, my silly-carefree-katana-self is much much more fun to be, because it's me!