A girl called Niffer. (WARNING LONG AND DRAMATIC)

[Kutsurona]

Alright time for my long rant of misunderstanding so that i can be helped by the hundreds of older people here that have probably gone through this a million times before!

A long time ago i met my ex girlfriend named Niffer at a convention. She was quiet and gave me a hug since i was wandering around asking for hugs and such. We hugged and she gave me her number to call her after the weekend. So it happened. I called her that monday to talk and stuff and we lived 5 blocks away! amazing! so we deided to meet up by a taco beel that was half way grab some lunch and chat! well after meeting we kinda fell for eachtoehr that instant, walked to her house and there we cuddleed the night away as we had become a relationship that fast. Well it was a lasting one and for 4 months we were ultimately happy. We did everything together, until christmas. At christmas i got a job with her mom delivering flowers so it was cool and she could come to work with me. This was a problem cause she started talking about wanting to get married and such. I know i was happy with her but i didnt know what to do and since i really cared about her i decided to do what i could to make her happy. I said someday in the future we would if we were still together and thats where all the problems started. she became fixated on us and i became scared and locked myself away. More problems in January. A girl came to live with her that was a good friend. Shes Bi. Infact Niffer is Bi. She wanted to be together and i had no problems with it! BIG MISTAKE! anything i did with the other girl like hang out and such was bad. anything she did with Niffer was ok. It was confusing. I couldnt even hold the other girl and laugh without Niffer accusing me of being a traitor. So once again i hid away from the world and starting hiding my true feelings for niffer. By January she had also expected a ring that i never gave her. I never gave her this ring cause well i never really proposed. I told her that i wanted to give her said ring when im actually ready but she pushed for it. WEll now that months have past and the problems grew and she forgave me and forgave me letting me get away with pretty much anything. She decided that on Gaia online to have a relationship to make me mad and see what i do. I scolderd her and stuff seing her online and told her she cant do it so i got mad and she told me to get one so i did. I got my own gaia gf. (fucked up so far isnt it) wel she got a second guy and i said that was wrong to lead them on so she said whatever you talk to that girl all the time and i say yea she helps me with my problems. So we were pretty much trying to kill eachoter when i wasnt at her house. I was usually over there all the time till i started my new job and that also caused problems since the hours were chaotic and she had school. I wasnt over at her house often aymore.after a grueling and torturesome 9 more months i had finally seen how i was treating her by hiding and slowly started to resurface so i could take care of her and for two days i was the romantic i was from the begining and we were ultimately happy. But that wasnt enough, she was hurt, and she broke up with me. Later, two weeks, she had found some 22 year old to call her own and that was the last i would here from her. This was in june. I took the ime since then to rebuild myself and refind myslef so i could be a good hearted person again. I did alot of mean things and i regret each and everyone.

[Kutsurona]

*sigh* I am now goin to explain why i tell you this.. REcently, as in yesterday, I came in contact with the girl again. I was at work and she had called up thre asking for my help. She has gotten her first car but because of family issues (which i know are true and i dont feel i have the right to say) she did not have enough money to register the car under her name and be allowed to drive it. She was very excited being its her first car. So she asked to get 50 bux from me. I said sure and that wa that. She was over at my work at a bad time, we had alot of people but she still insisted to talk to me about things. We both smiles, i felt warm and we just talked, without mentioning the 50 bux. WE just talked like it was the old times and it felt damned great. She asked if i could take a break cause she needed to go get something to eat, but i couldnt for another couple hours due to the rush, said take the 50 dollars and ill chat with her later. She insisted that i call her up sometime for some ddrness. I got her hooked back in feb when i started playing. she was never that good but is pursistent. She says her bf the 22 y/o she ran away with cant and doesnt like to play with but i have also noticed an absence of her at his house or never even met him.....she was kind to me..i called her later that night and talked for a bit before being kicked off the phone...its not enough to gather a true answer.



AS you see im terribly confused on this situation. I loved her. She loved me. Whats going on? is this my opening? pleasse comment and ask so that i can understand and you can gain more insight.

[Kiyomi]

Try to keep your posts together rather than double posting. Long posts are okay, but double posting is frowned upon.

As for the problem at hand, if she kept doing all those things to you, I would say don't get back together. She is likely to do them again unless you give her exactly what she wants, and a relationship should not work that way. It should not be one-sided where one person does all the work and the other gets everything they want. Each person should be willing to sacrafice some for the other. To be honest, she sounds kind of like me. I think she gets bored with people easily, then moves on to the next guy. Thankfully, I found Excel (who could EVER be bored with Excel around?) and it turned out what we had was true love. I think she probably did not really love you. She might have thought she did, but it was probably more just a strong "like". If she really loved you, I she would have been willing to work a little harder to keep things together. I know it's hard, but sometimes it is best to just move on. You could be friends, if it is not to awkward, but I honestly don't think, from what you told me, that it would work out if you tried again. Just my opinion.

[Kutsurona]

I understand and it sounds like that she didnt put up with me but i did aliot of bad things to, i still hurt her and idnt cuddle her, didn come see her, didnt do anything romantic, i feel as tho she put up with alot, but even the other girl, the girl who saw it all first hand had the same opinion.....

[Kiyomi]

The same opinion as me or as you? Not cuddling and being romantic is reason for talking, not reason for cheating. Sometimes Excel and I do bad things to each other, but we talk about it and work through it; we don't cheat on each other to make the other feel bad or to see what they would do.

[Graillik Tur]

I will give unto you the Lycus 101. If you are under 25, don't get married. Don't do it. It's ill advised. Very rarely does it work, and if it does, it's after a moderate to massive amount of stress.

Here is why.

18-25, the experimental years. These are the years you get out from under your parents, start making your own decisions, living your life. Don't mess that up with a kid or a wife.

Chicks at 18-25, aren't always very...sane. They tend to let their romantic ideals screw up their thinking. They love you, but don't understand what it's going to take to live with you. Love is great and all, but you gotta live right?

25 is when you tend to have everything ironed out. You have the money to start paying on a house. You have a career, more than likely a degree, and have yourself figured out. Not only are you more sexy now than you were at 21 when you could by those fresh out of high school girls booze, you don't have to settle for any one of them, you get to choose.

Now the age rule doesn't necessarily apply. What does apply is have your life together and in order before you consider an lasting relationship.

4 months, I dated a beast of a chick for a year and a half. I really thought I was going to marry her out of high school. I'll be 22 to here pretty soon and looking back the only thing I can think off is 'dumbass'. Relax, don't make any hasty decisions, and het your own life in order before you take on anyone else. It's not the only way to do it, but it is deffinetly the less stressful for all involved.

jane.