Dunno what to think about guy...

[Tenshiai]

Well, I usually like them like I do for girl's ( in a friendly way ) but I was working at a massage place 10 hours /day and I see so much thing that it make me feel so down.

Customer come and try to getting more that simple massage and I often had to give them their money back and ask them to leave because of their bad behaviour.

Make me feel like all guy are really pervert and lyer. I don't know how to reconize the one whose not. Some of costumer seem to be so nice but they are cheating their wife and flirting with younger girl.

I'm with someone right now but I feel unsure because of this job. My boysfriend such a nice guy and all but I saw mens there who were the same... I just feel like any cute girl can do for any guy. That make me so much depress. I talked about this to my boysfriends but he doesn,t know what to do about this. I'm the one who must do something but how can I if all what I had saw is these thing and even some guy told me that I was true to not trust them!! Now, don,t ask me why I'm scare. I need some others people opinion and tips. My boysfriend is sad because he think that I'm not trusting him but we are together only about 7 month. For me it's beautiful but not this much for me to be sur to know him perfectly. I trust him for some think and I don't think he will cheat me but that is scaring me because all the men I saw who cheat was the one who their women have trust in.

I saw so much kind of different mens but the point if that before doing this job I had bad experience like these one with guy so it's only wake up bad memory and suspicion about guy.

I even don't told you the badest thing that happen there. I try to secure myself telling me that there is also girl like that and all but.... I'm going to be pretty down. I need some support, explaination, help...please.

[Therin]

Does he go to a massage parlor often? *wink*

No, but seriously. You're looking at less than a tenth of the population, who come into that parlor of yours. It's not a good example of male behavior, nor is it a good example of whom to trust(ie: no one.).

Trust is a tough issue. It is very hard to grant fully, and ridiculously easy to revoke, once you have been betrayed. However, from what I gather, he hasn't betrayed you yet. If you find yourself unable, or you find it hard to trust him, it's time to take a step back, and really ask yourself why. Depending on the answer that you find, there are a number of things that can be done. But lets stick with the possibilities that I can see.

A: You trust him. Good. Keep it up. Not that you should let your guard down, per se, but don't bring work home with you. The guys you see at work are not an example upon which to base your views on guy-dom in general.

B: You don't trust him, because the guys you see at work just scare you that much. Ok. That's understandable. There are some truly horrifying people in the world. I can think of two possible solutions. One - If you can manage it, try to distance yourself from your work, and to not let it affect you as much. Split your world into two compartments - Work, where everyone is evil, and you have to stay aloof at all times, and Not Work, where it's ok to trust people again. If you can't do that on your own, then:
Two - Spend more time with him! I know it might seem odd, but he serves as a counterbalance to all the bad crap you see at work. Where all the guys at work are perverted and obsessive, he might be able to show you the other side of the scale: People like Shino, or Sperrit, or BWS-1, who just don't even think that way, much less act on it.

C: You don't trust him, but not because of work. Maybe you see something in him that frightens you, maybe you have something in yourself that won't let you trust someone who is that close to you. You have to figure that one out, and it will be hard, make no mistake. But we're all here to help, if you need it.

I hope this helps. ^_^

[Tenshiai]

SO, I must admit that is a lil bit of A and a lil bit of B ...

I do trust him beause I consider him special. But I can't convince myself that people in my job are minority because I knew much more people like that in all my life until now.

And I would like do pass more time with him and that he may reconfort me but... he's working at night and I'm sleeping when he's up. I really don't know how to feel reconfort.

He did it the first time I told him and this were working. I'm ok with him but I cannot trust others guys...

Ty Térin yet you also got a point that bros is not like this and another good friend of me...but... they are the only 2 that I know who told me honesly that they are like me. Other said they're not and even that is normal for men and such digusting thing. They are some who I don,t ask because i'm not cnfortable talking about this to them. I'm afraid that may hurt my boysfriend and I don,t want him to be worry about that one more time.

It's not about him that I'm worrysome but others mens. I'm going mad each time a mens looking at me now in the bus or subway.

I'll drop the job but... still dunno why I suoldn't think they aren't all like this. You said that is a minority but I only new a majority of guy like this...

so you aren,t ? your friend aren't too?

[Silver Adept]

What you see at work is definitely not a represntative sample. While what you see there is possible, it's very unlikely. If nothing else, you're seeing what too look for if you think that he's cheating on you (heaven forbid it).

But really, most guys aren't like that.

[Shandriz]

Woooo. H'okay. Tenshiai, I know a lot of where you're coming from. Having had issues with three out of five boyfriends I've had cheating on me, I know how down you must feel thinking that there are a lot of guys like that.

But there really aren't as many as all that. You and I both just had experiences with the wrong ones. There is no reason you should let the experience you had effect your relationship with your current boyfriend. Trust is everything, and as he hasn't given you a reason to stop trusting him, then don't.

Sometimes, you just have to have faith in people. I'm not a very trusting person in general, but every once in a while, it's best to let your fears go, or you'll get buried in them. If you let this bother you too much, you could ruin what might otherwise be a wonderful relationship.

And I swear that not all guys are like that. A -lot- of my friends are guys, and I know none of them ever would.

[Tenshiai]

Ty, I feel better...


I talk about it to my boysfriend the first time I was unsure and he told me that with him I had no fear to have and he do it in such a way that I was crying of happyness.

He's so creasy ^_^I love him and trust him.

I trust my boysfriends that is not the problem .... the problem it's that he and bros are the only one I was able to trust and have difficulty to even smile to a stranger guy. You know, the kind of guy who open you the door at the mail just because... Before I found this so nice and now I wonder why and what he want. That is stupid but it become a reflex.


Now that you tree told me that is REALLY not the majority it confort me. Maybe I will be able to relax a little bit and smile again to nice guy...

You know sometime you know it's in your head but you need others people to show you and tell you that is wrong.

ty again, I'll continu to think abut what you told me all.^^