Rejected again... GAH!

[Shandriz]

Answer: Be there for her.

Having been on -that- side of the equation, Therin, I know that I'd really rather they didn't try to -do- anything. It's always a lot nicer when they're just there, and you know they are, and you can ask them to do stuff for you if you feel that you need it done (IE: ask for hugs when -you- need it, not when they think you need it.) Just be sure to let 'em know it's okay to ask.

[Tobias]

yea, shandriz i think hit that one on the head. This aformentioned girl i talked about knows that if she does need anything, im only 5 minutes away, and will help her if necessary. Id rather be a good friend than completely ditch her for the sake of her not liking me "that" way

[Keiji]

As another member of the female species, I agree with Shandriz, she is /exactly/ right. Having been in the same sitation at one time myself ^^ It's so great to have a guy who will stay by your side, and that you know you can trust. Building trust is a huge deal!

[Graillik Tur]

Eh...I'm gonna get flames for this...but let me share some experiance.

1. You will never be friends with girls you are attracted too, as long as you stay attracted to them. That's just the way that goes, too many feelings get in the way and make things weird. Easiest way around that, find someone else to be attracted too, not to hard.

2. Rejection...Dating is a numbers game. You will get rejected a lot more than you will get dates. My first semester at college I decided to be more out going. I asked this one girl out, she had a boyfriend. Next girl, not interested...this continued pretty regularly, but I made it a point to ask out one girl a day. Pretty soon I had a date atleast 3 times a week. It's all numbers Zzyxx, just numbers.

And I will say this again for the sake of the Divorce (sp?) rate decreasing, if yoru in high school, don't sweat it, don't get married straight out, live a little first. If your in college, finish college before you get married, you'll be better off in the long run.

I'm not saying don't date a long term relationship in these situations, I"m just saying your odds for success greatly diminish in these situations. Just the odds, nothing more.

Salut.

[Faye]

Gonna have to disagree with you on #1 Graillik. You can be friends with a girl you are attracted to, just dont expect it to ever become anymore than that. Its very difficult to get out of the "Friend Zone" but it is not impossible. The hardest part about it is when she gets another boyfriend, that doesnt appreciate her and treats he like shit and you are stuck there being the "Shoulder to cry on" and nothing more. Not that their is anything wrong with that. I have been that shoulder to several girls in my life, but when you are attracted to the girl it can be particularly painful.

As far as #2 goes... Rejection is part of dating, that doesnt mean its any less painful for some people. I hate math and personally dont believe that love/relationships/dating have anything to do with numbers.

That being said, I would like to applaud you Zyxx *applaud*. You have more courage than a lot of guys I know.... including myself. Hang in there and remain friends with her.

[Shandriz]

Ahh, see, but the numbers thing does work in some cases. It depends on the -type- of relationship you're after. If you're 'dating' (IE: Just going on one date with some random person to get to know them a bit better, possibly followed by another date, but not with any obligation to continue dating them, necessarily, and no claim whatsoever on their actions afterwards) then it's numbers.

If you're looking to 'go out' with someone (IE: a serious relationship in which case the other person is your girlfriend/boyfriend, you are not supposed to date others, and there will be several subsequent dates, etc) then I really don't think you'd be looking at numbers.

[Graillik Tur]

Shandriz hit it on the head. That was what I was trying to say. and as for #1 Faye...I hate waiting. I also hate putting for so much emotional energy that it hurts with a girl I'm attracted too, and getting the short end of the stick. I mean it's one thing to be there, it's another for her to take advantage of you. And that is what she is doing. Not intentionally anyway, but that is what she is doing. She is getting the 'bad boy' excitement from the ahole. She's getting the stability she needs from you. Between the 2 of you, she has the perfect boyfriend. And for the ahole, he has the perfect gf, all the good stuff none of the bad. You're left holding the garbage bag.

Congratulations, you just got skull bumped by your wanna be gf's bf by proxy. That sounded harsh, and was not a shot at anyone. I just had it happen to me, and I hated it.

Peace.

[Faye]

Well thats just it Shandriz/Graillik. I dont like the "Dating Game", never have. I think its a mokery of everything relationships are supposed to be. Call me old fashion but when a guy take a girl out to eat... the guy pays. There is no reason for the girl to even need money on her. There are no exceptions to this rule. The guy should always open the doors for his date. The girl should be treated with respect. And under no circumstances.... should a woman be hit, for any reason(short of playful banter). These values seem to be all but lost in most people these days. I may not be getting any, but I refuse to play that game. If I go out with someone I it needs to be meaningfull on some level, whether that relationship lasts for 2 weeks, 2 years, or indefinatly. Thats just the way I am.

Am I setting myself up for hurt?? Yes. Have I done it before and gotten hurt?? Yes. Call me a glutten for punishment, but thats just the way I am.

[Ultrawolf]

[reaper]

As of 07/01/04, there were 6,372,797,742 people on this planet. So that means around 3.15 billion ladies are out there to be had. Chances are there is another girl out there with your name on her lol.