Rejected again... GAH!

Graillik Tur · Renaissancetaku Gender: Joined: 09 Jul 2004

I like Reaper's answer.

And I will try this one more time, then I'm letting it go. "How do you know anything about a person unless you get to know them?" You don't, how do you find out? You date them. Take them out, have a nice time, talk on the phone, play games. If you don't do that, you'll never know.

And if your basing your ideals off of sight, as most people start with, what your saying is "this person 'looks' like a good person." Then your a retard.

shadokastur · Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 4:43 am Post subject:

Harsh but effective words, Graillik.
I can say that I seem to agree with every point you've brought to the table here.

Shandriz · Your Death Shall be Swift Gender: Joined: 28 Sep 2003

^_^ I'm the same way, Faye, for parts of that. I've never really been fond of the 'dating' idea. And I've never done it. If I date someone, it's because I can see myself with them in the future. How do I get to reach that conclusion? By becoming..*gasp* friends with them first! OMG! ^_-

Buut, I don't believe in the whole "Guys should pay for everything" part. I'd rather pay my own if at all possible. Admittedly, at the moment it's often not because I don't have a job, and rarely have cash on me, but when it is possible for me to, I will. There's no reason the guy should have to.

Graillik Tur · Renaissancetaku Gender: Joined: 09 Jul 2004

But if you become friends first, isn't it possible you'll end up in exactly the same situation as Zzyxx is in right now?

Doot · Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 10:46 am Post subject:

Well if anything you can truly gauge if a friendship can lead to a relationship. I've been friends before going out with any of my boyfriends, however it's the hardest to stay friends afterwords. However if I went on a date with a friend and realized it wasn't meshing, then it's TONS easier to revert back to friends. So dating can help that.

But on the other hand, you won't ever know until you step up to the plate. If you don't know someone but are attracted to them, then yes, ask them on a date. The purpose is to get to know more about the person. It's not so much a game as it is a ritual. You can typically tell within the first 10 minutes if you want to make the effort to learn more about someone or if it's just a "miss". Typically people are more frightened of this avenue because of the rejection factor.

If you have a friend who knows a good deal about you and still wants to be around you and you are showing mutual affection to take it to the next level, then that would be going out. This would be the safety net way. Not a bad thing, but definitely "vanilla" to those risk takers out there.

Shandriz · Your Death Shall be Swift Gender: Joined: 28 Sep 2003

Oh, there isn't that risk for me. As mentioned, I don't ever enter into a relationship lightly. If I'm going to go out with a friend, it'll be someone I'm confident I can still be friends with afterwards if things don't work out.

Unless, of course, they do something stupid like cheating on me. In that case, they would be no good to me as a friend afterwards because trust is crucial to -any- relationship. But then, if they'd cheated on someone else while I was friends with them, I'd still feel that way. So really, I don't need them as a friend anyhow and I'm not losing anything.

Point is-- date smart, not hard.

..or something like that. ^_-

Graillik Tur · Renaissancetaku Gender: Joined: 09 Jul 2004

Shandriz...I don't understand. Are you saying you only date people you have know a decent amount of time and know their personalities already?

Shandriz · Your Death Shall be Swift Gender: Joined: 28 Sep 2003

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Well, for the most part. Admittedly, there's been one so far that I didn't do that with. But it's worked out for the best so far. ^_^

Graillik Tur · Renaissancetaku Gender: Joined: 09 Jul 2004

I guess that is one way to do it. I wouldn't do it that way, but to each their own.