screenwritin.

[Tobias]

Ok...so im working on screenwriting. Lets see what you guys think of this stuff.

(NOTE: For those of you who don't know much about screenplays, there 3 components: Slugline, Action-description, and Dialogue. Sluglines are usually started with the INT/EXT - XXXX - DAY/NIGHT. These notify where you are, if you're inside or outside, and what time of day, whether it be day or night. Action-description encompasses all of the actions that the actors execute. Dialogue is...well...dialogue. Have fun, and post your own shtuff. )

(NOTE: this is the product of combining all of the frustruating people that come into my workplace into one annoying woman. Fun! As well, it may seem long, but if you can pick it up, it reads REALLY fast.)

INT – CAFÉ – DAY

Wes finishes up making a drink for a customer. He slides the cup over to a middle-aged man standing by the bar counter, announcing the drink name rather depressingly

WES
Double-tall latte, skim
milk?

Rey is leaning up against the cash register. He stares at Wes as he cleans the off the dried milk from the steam wand.

REY
Hey, your old man seems
like a strong guy…I bet
he’ll be through this whole
thing in no-time
Wes shrugs. A WOMAN IN WORKOUT CLOTHES comes up to the register. She SLAMS her bag down on the counter. She pulls out a small, RINGING, cell-phone from her bag.

WOMAN
Hello? Sheila? What’s up?

Rey and Wes look at each other.

REY
Ma’am, may I help you?

The woman doesn’t respond to Rey

REY
Uh…excuse me ma’am…can I
get you something to—

The woman casts a nasty glare back at Rey

WOMAN
Can’t you see that I’m on
the phone?!

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Rey backs up a bit. Wes just watches the woman closely.

WOMAN
Listen Sheila…I’ll call you
back later. That’s right,
I’m at Starbucks, you know,
the one in the bookstore?
Yea…ciao.

The woman hangs up her phone

REY
I’m sorry about tha—

WOMAN
I don’t care. Let’s see,
I need a grande, two-percent
latte with vanilla, in
a big cup.


Wes reaches down and grabs a grande cup and scribbles some information on the side of the cup with a china-marker. He sets the cup down and starts to steam up some milk in a pitcher.

WOMAN
Is that milk fresh?

Wes is caught off guard with the question

WES
I’m sorry ma’am?

WOMAN
I want that with FRESH milk,
not some leftover garbage
that you had an hour ago.

Wes stares right at the woman as he turns around and dumps out the milk in the pitcher. He reaches down into a small refrigerator by his feet. He pulls out some whole and skim milk, mixing them together in the pitcher.

WOMAN
What are you doing!?

WES
Making two-percent milk…that
is what you asked for, correct?

The woman rolls her eyes and places her hands on her hips

WOMAN
They don’t do that for me in
the other Starbucks.

WES
That’s because you can’t
see over their counter. This
is how they make it.

The woman sighs as Rey interjects

REY
Ma’am, the total comes out
to three-dollars and fifty-
seven cents.
The woman reaches into her pocket-book and pulls out a starbucks card.

REY
I’m terribly sorry ma’am, we
actually don’t accept the
Starbucks card. If you ha-

WOMAN
Excuse me? I’m in a Starbucks,
I’d like to use my Starbucks
card.

REY
I’m sorry ma’am, we’re not a
Starbucks though, we’re actually
a Barnes and Noble…if you have
our gift-card, we can always take
that.

The woman reaches into her bag and pulls out a credit-card, tossing it at Rey

WOMAN
Fine…use that.

Wes begins to pour the milk into the cup

WOMAN
I want a cappuccino instead.

Rey begins pounding on the keyboard as Wes looks at the woman angrily. He pours the drink into the sink and begins to remake it.

The woman’s cell-phone rings again.

WOMAN
Hey Sheila…I’m still here.
They’ve got some lousy service
in the Starbucks at that
bookstore.

Wes SLAMS down the espresso holder down hard on the garbage bin, making the woman jump. The woman stares lividly at him. Wes gets new espresso from the hopper.

WOMAN
Yea, anyways Shiela,
Spencer is going to go over
there after soccer? Yea.
Ok…I just need some me-time.
It’s been such a tough week,
what with Spencer being home
sick. It’s good to be able
to go back to the old routine.

Rey looks at the woman

REY
Ok ma’am, would you like
anything else? A cookie,
perhaps?

WOMAN
Ok Shiela, I’ll talk to
you later babe. Thanks.
Bye.

She hangs up the phone and sticks it back into her bag.

WOMAN
No, I gotta go to the gym.
That stuff is horrible for
you anyways.

Rey shrugs

REY
Yea, I know, but it’s
always ok to be bad once in
a while.

WOMAN
Heh, whatever you say.

Wes completes the drink and hands it to the woman. She takes one look at the drink and pushes it back

WOMAN
This isn’t in a large cup.

WES
My apologies.

Wes pours the drink into a bigger cup and hands it to her. She takes a sip of it and gives it back to him.

WOMAN
How much vanilla did you
put in this? It taste’s
horrible.

Wes takes the drink from her

WES
I’ll make you another drink
If you’d like then

WOMAN
Forget it…you guys don’t
know how to make garbage.

The woman takes her bag and the drink.

WOMAN
This is the last time I come
here for anything

Wes gets into the woman’s face

WES
Fine then…get out.

WOMAN
Excuse me?

WES
Get out. If you don’t, I’ll
take the rest of this hot milk
and pour it down your pants.

WOMAN
How dare you talk to me like
that! You trash don’t have the
authority to say that!

WES
Well, guess what?

Wes takes the milk spatula and throws it into the back office

WES
I just did, bitch.

The woman takes a step back in amazement.

WES
I don’t need to hear this from
your squealing, pampered,
gym-nazi ass! Do you know
how hard we work to do this?
Do you know?

Wes smiles

WES
Oh, I forgot, you grew up doing
nothing but exercising and
talking with Shiela. Tell me,
have you ever worked behind a
counter in your life?

He points violently at her and begins to yell loudly. A young woman named JANUS approaches the steps and begins to watch the situation.

WES
No! All you do is live off
of your husband’s paycheck, eating
health-food and lattes, while
complaining to your friends about
how hard your life gets when you have
to actually spend time with your
son.

The woman shakes her head

WOMAN
That’s it, I’d like to speak to
your manager!

WES
Well guess what? No! You can
talk to me! You seem to enjoy
making our lives miserable,
might as well not pull the manager
into this.

WOMAN
I will not let some shit-raised
trash yell at me like this!

WES
Oh really? And you think that
Little spencer is being raised well?
Tell me…what was the first
word your child ever said?

WOMAN
Excuse me?

WES
You heard me…what was it?
Or were you busy at the gym
because you weren’t prepared to
sacrifice your life to actually
care for him and decide to indulge
on a box of doughnuts?

The woman just stares at Wes. A small woman, the MANAGER, quickly makes her way up to WES

MANAGER
Wes! Get over here!

Wes snorts, as begins to walk out

WES
You know…my dad was diagnosed
with cancer last night. Why don’t
you tell him that I’m a piece of
trash? He only spent
18 years raising me. That’ll
make his day.

The woman, takes a step back and sits down in a state of awe.

[Silver Adept]

Amazing what you find out about other people when you're nice or when you're utterly an asshole. It's too bad that a lot of people think that being an asshole to the people that willingly serve you (and probably take a small degree of your arrogance without you realizing it) is considered acceptable behavior.

[Tobias]

i whole-heartedly agree. Now, no one has ever pushed me to this limit before, and i've never talked back to someone...but this is what it would be like if i had to deal with a customer like this.

[Ming]

Mike, I like it a lot, but then again, you already know that because I watched the process of you writing this for your class. The only real ciritzism that I have is that you should probably change the names of Starbucks and Barnes and Noble. Especially if you're just starting out with something, I don't think you'd be able to pay them the royalties that they will most likely ask for, and you certainly don't want a lawsuit on your hands. But I'm sure you can word it well enough so that people get the point about what you're talking about.

Also, you're right. This reads pretty quickly once you get into it. I think you'd be safe if you wanted to even extend it to draw out Wes' reaming of the customer.

As an aside, I find it really funny that people like the woman have not yet learned that you just simply do not mess with people that handle your food.

[Akanari]

Wow, great scene. This would be positively wonderful for One-Act or something like that.

I also agree with Ming about extending the reaming of the customer, because it was rather enjoyable. Heh.

This kinda reminds me of something in another topic (212 Illegal Immigrants?). Some stores won't give service to customers who come up to the counter on their cell phones. Yeah.