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graphic 31 things you didn't know about Chuck Norris and counting graphic
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shadokastur
Patience to see and strength to do. That is all.



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 26 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:00 pm    Post subject:

212. Code Atom actually asked Chuck Norris to be their second guitarist, but the resulting roundhouse killed all of the members except for Rey who only lost an abdomen. The remains were taken to a laboratory that had the technology to rebuild them but Code Atom only had $3.50. Subsequently Shane, Jimmy and Hammy are held together by used chewing gum and wood glue. All hail Chuck.

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After our battle, I will keep the ash to remember you by. ~Phayne~

It is all that is left unsaid upon which tragedies are built. ~Darth Traya~
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SirGunslinger
Rebel without a clue



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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 9:56 am    Post subject:

Don't know if this has been posted yet:

There is no global warming, Chuck Norris was cold and decided to turn the sun up.

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I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye.
I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind.
I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart.

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Gearran
Rookie


Age: 40
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 2:34 am    Post subject:

214. Chuck Norris is the fifth Horseman.
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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:54 am    Post subject:

215. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:47 am    Post subject:

216. Midgets only exists because Chuck Norris has been working on his low kicks.

217. In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 3:24 pm    Post subject:

218. Nintendo wanted to make a video game staring Chuck Norris. The only problem is that Chuck Norris can not die and therefore the game can not possibly pose any challenge to anyone.

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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
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Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:03 am    Post subject:

219. When Michael Jackson was trying to leave the Jackson 5, he told Chuck Norris that he "needed a change". In an unfortunate misunderstanding, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the black out him.

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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 10:11 am    Post subject:

220. Santa Clause used to exist, until the fateful Christmas Eve that he forgot to leave out milk and cookies for Chuck Norris.

221. Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

222. Walker Texas Ranger's black partner is actually the result of Chuck eating too many BBQ ribs and taking a giant dump in a puddle of radioactive waste.

223. If you rearrange the letters in "Jesus Christ" you get "Chuck Norris", but you have to try really hard.

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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
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Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:21 pm    Post subject:

224. Not to be outdone by the popularity of Marky Mark's third nipple, Chuck Norris willed into creation a magical teat located just to the right of his belly button that generates a stream of crude oil whenever Chuck hears the song "Good Vibrations".

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Aiman
Demon Knight


Age: 43
Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:06 am    Post subject:

225. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

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END: 600
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