What the Hell?!

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

Well, i agree with Excel! If you truly think it is love, kai, then i believe you.

Sometimes things confuse people in the world and they don't understand and try to tell you it's not love, and that you're "wrong".

Love is different to many people, as has been discussed in various other threads, so maybe what others may or may not consider love is love to you.

err..did that make sense? ^^;;

anyway, i wish you lots of luck and that everything works out for you.

Ultrawolf · Mr. Roarke Gender: Joined: 04 Jul 2003

Excel Zero · Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:19 pm Post subject:

I have thought about it...very rationally....You can be rational and ideal at the same time....I think if he feels it's love...then we should support it

Excel

Ultrawolf · Mr. Roarke Gender: Joined: 04 Jul 2003

Let's go step by step through the facts shall we.

BWS-1 · Otaku Lord Gender: Joined: 25 Sep 2002

Kai ... as much as you both love each others, there are things that are beyong your control, and one of those things is the legal system we all live in. And, since she is much older, well, you probably know all about the consequences so I won't start a lecture, but what I want to tell you is that, dispite the fact that, in the name of love, many things are possible, even much more remains illegal, for what can be just and fairly done in this sociaty, it can't automaticly be going all according to the laws ...

But know that I understand, the situation you are in isn't much different then one I once been. It is at moments like these that a man and a women must make a choice, but ... legally, are you ''a man''? But hell, who IS the law to tell you if you are man enough to think on your own, to love on your own? The law can't control you, and know that the law never will ... but it can hold you back, and backstab you like no other ... leaving a permenant scar on you ... your heart ... your social reputation ... all that ... in the name of ... love.

I have 2 advices, they aren't really original, but they can work out pretty well if you treuly beleive in love.

1) Hide it, hide it from this filthy sociaty that would be ready to trow rocks at you for loving her, but don't make the mistake to hide it from yourself in the process. Keep in touch, and remind yourselves that you are both strong and that you will not let them break you.

2) Accept, accept the consequances of all the possible case scenarios, take responsability for that love, that love that is yours and hers, that love you rightfully deserve to live, accept it, and all that might happen, but don't make the mistake to become paranoid, it can only spoil the magic.

This is easier said then done, trust me, cause in order to do those 2 things, you will nearly inevitably expose yourself or end up doing what you must NOT do, but fear not, if you realise you've been keeping feelings inside or that you started to have a tendecy to think of nothing but worst case scenarios ... you are one step toward success, since you became aware of those mistake, therfor, you can do all you can to avoid repeating such habits.

O I almost forgot, there is also something that can't be bad: to dream. Dreaming of how life would be if it wasn't of those laws ... or how it would be if everybody around you would accept this love, cause, afterall, as idealistic as this scenario might be, it is still part of the ''best case'' scenarios, or the ''o so often overlooked'' ones. The thing to avoid here is to end up living IN that dream, istead of the reality.Try making it YOUR reality, for both of you.

May your love grow stronger, Kai

Faye · Luna Sierra Age: 42 Gender: Joined: 28 Apr 2004

Kai.... I don't know you, and I wont pretend to know you or anyone else on this board. But I do have some advice for your current situation from someone who has a few more years experience. I dont know how you feel and like Excel said "Love is different for everyone". I propose the tough love way of learning. You can never be 100% sure of how another person feels. If she loves you as much as you love her then great. Wonderful. I hope you have a wonderful life together. But if she doesn't then you will have just set yourself up for a big disapointment that could be very difficult to recover from. Love is nothing but a big chance, but sometimes you just have to take that chance in order to be happy. Because if you dont then you could end up regretting it for the rest of your life. It is better to know what happens then to wonder what would have happend.

My advice is to go for it, but be ver careful. Not only are there emotional reprocutions(spelling), but legal ones as well. Not for you but for this woman that is twice your age. Keep in mind that any kind of physical relationship between the two of you could land her in some serious trouble.

I wish you well and hope that it all turns our okay.

reaper · I miss you Shar Gender: Joined: 28 Dec 2002

Ok idealism, great I am a big fan believe me.
But we all need to take a step back and look at reality.
There is a reason that the general rules of our society, and indeed our laws, say that a relationship involving a minor and an adult is inappropriate. When you are younger you are immature, inexperienced, and naive, at least you will have been in retrospect several years later. So of course when you are young, you have very little experience in relationships. The result means that you are much more likely to think you are in love, you may even fell and believe you are. That does not mean that you are though.

I don’t know the situation intimately so I can’t make any judgments.
But Kia if you have any feelings for this person at all, and they for you, wait 2 years. Because weather you are in love or not, the state will put them in prison.

Excel Zero · Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 3:34 am Post subject:

I'm sorry my friend...you can't change my mind....I am not saying it may be right by society...and I am not a person to just toss the laws of this country aside...But I don't care...See I have no issues with you thinking what you think...if anything I applaud that in you....but you can't just discount what may be, just because of history...Long distance relationships have NEVER worked for me...and finally I had one that did...and now we are married almost two years....

Listen...this is for everybody...

I am not telling you that you need to dream like I do ok? I understand people being a bit cynical at times and I especially understand people be realists. But we all need to understand three basic things about this situation

1. Nothing we do will change his feelings

2. It isn't out place to try and change his feelings

3. the humanity of man is vast and unimaginable...Simply put...just because history states a certain probability, does NOT make it a certainty.....

Now this last part is for Kai....

I don't talk to BWS as much as I'd like...but what he said is wonderful...Dream my friend...and never let go of those dreams....Try it out...and if it doesn't work? then you have another lesson, another notch in your belt....and never fear consequence like this...if you try and it does work...then guess what? Your life has gotten that much better

So that is all I can really say for now...look around you Kai...you have a lot of people who are cautious, but very understanding and some of them are pulling for you

Excel

Joetaku · Senior Otaku Joined: 24 Oct 2002

I always thought it was rude to stick your nose in other peoples personal business....especially when it's something as potentially controversal as this subject.

Besides, how many people here truely know all the details of the situation? It's probably not fair for almost anyone here to make any kind of judgement. While I have my opinion, I'm going to keep it to myself.

Ultrawolf · Mr. Roarke Gender: Joined: 04 Jul 2003